


Depths of Despair

by LMXB



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coping, Family, Gen, Loss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-06-07 18:18:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 30,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15225136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LMXB/pseuds/LMXB
Summary: Set after the end of season 3, a DEO mission goes horribly wrong having major consequences for everyone.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl or the characters. This is written purely for fun.
> 
> A/N: This is going to be (really) angsty, but it will work its way towards a happy ending.

"Danvers' sisters, ten. Bad guys, nil." Supergirl announced as she tied up their unconscious prisoner and placed him with the other nine.

"Don't get cocky, there could be more of them." Alex pointed out as she scanned the area.

"There aren't. At least close by...or if there are, their hearts aren't beating." Kara pointed out.

"No offence to your hearing ability, but how many times did that fail when we were growing up and I asked you to listen out for mom?"

"It's not my fault I got distracted." Kara argued.

"Kind of is when that was your one job and it happened every time. It was like you wanted me to get caught."

"Maybe you shouldn't have been breaking the rules." Kara countered.

"Wait, did you deliberately not tell me mom was coming back?" Alex asked.

"Only when I was worried about you." Kara said.

"We will talk about this after the mission." Alex said pulling out her radio.

"Team Alpha, the area is clear. You can approach." Alex said over the radio.

"We'll be with you in five minutes, ma'am." Agent Hawkins confirmed.

"Anything else you want to confess to?" Alex asked looking at Kara.

"No." Kara replied before trying to change the subject and asking. "Should you even be out on these missions?"

"What do you mean?" Alex asked.

"Well Director Danvers, shouldn't you be babysitting a desk or something?"

"I do not babysit desks." Alex said.

"You have been recently. I've missed being out on missions with you."

"Well unless you are going to start doing my paperwork, I need to spend less time in the field." Alex said. "But I missed being out here with you too." She added.

"It's way more fun working with you rather than Hawkins." Kara said.

"What's wrong with Hawkins?" Alex asked.

"You."

"What do you mean me?" Alex asked confused.

"You put the fear of god into him when you gave the talk about protecting me. Now, every mission, his heart sounds like it is about to jump from his chest, it can't be healthy. Plus he is always so stressed he is not much fun to be around." Kara explained.

"He, and the others, need to know how important their jobs are." Alex pointed out.

"You do remember I am practically invincible?" Kara asked.

"Practically invincible is not he same as actually invincible." Alex said. "Besides, do you know how much paperwork is involved when an Agent gets hurt? J'onn must have had powers he didn't tell us about."

"It can't be that bad." Kara said as unsympathetically. "But you did pick a really creepy mission to come on. I didn't think there were any abandoned towns like this in America. It's like every one just got up and left."

"They did." Alex pointed out.

"It feels like zombies are going to start walking down the streets." Kara went on.

"Only Cadmus agents, unless you are getting your excuses in early on why your hearing fails."

"Zombies groan, I'd hear that." Kara assured her. But then Alex suddenly gasped and fell to her knees.

"Alex?" Kara cried as she caught her sister and saw the bleeding stomach. As she held Alex though she felt the tell tale signs of Kryptonite.

"Sniper." Alex guessed as he pressed her hand down on the wound.

Ignoring the Kryptonite Kara looked round wondering where the shots were coming from only to see a red mark on Alex's forehead.

"No!" Kara cried moving her body to shield Alex, moments before something ripped into her shoulder.

"Kara?" Alex asked as her sister fell on top of her.

"Kryptonite bullets." Kara confessed. "Have to go." She said pulling Alex up and despite her weakened state helping Alex stumble towards shelter. Before they reached the wall though another bullet ripped through Kara's leg causing them both to go down.

"Go without me." Alex said hating feeling so weak as her sister was hurting.

"Not without you." Kara said struggling to her feet before helping Alex to a stairwell.

"Team Alpha, we are taking fire. They have Kryptonite. We need help now." Alex wheezed into the radio.

"We'll be there in two minutes." Hawkins confirmed.

"You have to get away from me." Alex said clutching her side, trying to stop the blood loss.

"No point. I've got two green bullets in me." Kara reminded her. "Besides, I'm not leaving without you." Kara said through gritted teeth.

"I can take them out." Alex said moving her hand causing blood to pour from her wound.

"Not without bleeding to death." Kara said, trying to fight the nausea. "I can wait until backup arrives."

"You suck at lying." Alex said pressing down on her torso.

"And you pick really bad days to leave the office." Kara countered as she looked round seeing only four choices. One, jumping off a ledge, two climbing up the stairs, three remaining where they were or four going back the way they came. "Looks like we are safe here." Kara said more out of hope than anything else, moments before an explosion sounded from somewhere above them. "What was that?"

"Don't know, but it didn't sound good." Alex said before something caught her eye. Hurtling towards them, down the stairwell they were sheltering under, was debris surrounded in green dust. Guessing the green was Kryptonite Alex knew that if they were hit neither of them would survive.

"I love you." Alex said before using her final strength to push Kara off the ledge and away from danger. Moments later she was crushed under the weight of the falling rocks.


	2. Chapter 2

"Kara? Can you hear me?" Eliza asked as she squeezed her daughter's hand.

"-Liza?" Kara croaked.

"It's okay. You're going to be okay." Eliza said as she placed an ice chip in Kara's mouth.

"Hurts." Kara mumbled before asking. "Alex?"

"Get some rest Sweetie." Eliza soothed as Kara shut her eyes again.

-00-

"Eliza?" Kara asked the next time she woke.

"Sweetie, how are you feeling?" Eliza said taking hold of her hand. "Are you in pain?"

"Yeah." Kara replied.

"We can give you something to help." Eliza said.

"Alex?" Kara asked.

"Kara, you need to listen to me." Eliza said putting a device into Kara's hand. "When the pain gets bad, press that button. You are not used to pain, so don't try to be brave."

"Alex?" Kara asked again as Eliza squeezed Kara's hand round the device.

"Press it just like that." Eliza instructed as the pain meds washed through Kara's system knocking her out.

-00-

"How is she?" J'onn asked entering the room.

"J'onn? You're back?" Eliza asked surprised and relieved as she stood and walked over to him.

"I came as soon as I got the message. I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner" He said before pausing and adding. "I'm sorry I ever left."

"It's not your fault." Eliza said.

"I was the one who left them alone." J'onn said guiltily. "How's Kara?"

"She's starting to stay awake for more than a couple of minutes."

"That's good." J'onn smiled before turning solemn and asking. "Does she know?"

"No. Not yet." Eliza said as a tear fell. "She asks every time she wakes, but I just don't know how to tell her. She is going to take it so badly."

"And you? I know how hard it is to lose a child and I know words can't help. But when you are ready I will always be there for you."

"Thank you." Eliza said as more tears ran down her face.

"Come here." J'onn said pulling Eliza into him.

Eventually Eliza pulled away and said. "You were like a father to Alex and I can never thank you enough for that. Thank you for being here."

"It's the least I could do." J'onn said. "I didn't come straight here, I went to where it happened, to search. Part of me was still hoping to find her alive. When I was searching the site I found this. It must have come off when...during the incident." He said handing Eliza Alex's watch, which had a broken face.

Silently she took the time piece and clasped it like if she let go of it, her memories would also disappear.

"I agree with the assessment made by the team here. Although there is no body, she couldn't have survived. Even if she survived the initial impact, when the ground collapsed, she couldn't have survived that fall, or if she did, the coldness of the river would have been too much."

"I know. Brainy took me through the report." Eliza said sadly.

"I wish I could have brought her body back for you to bury, but with the currents, there's no chance we'll find her now."

"I know." Eliza said again.

"I am going to take over here for awhile. In the mean time if you want me to handle any of the arrangements all you have to do is ask."

"Thank you." Eliza said still clasping the watch. "But I don't want to do anything until Kara is recovered."

"I understand. Make sure you get some rest" J'onn said kindly. "Kara will need you more than ever. You know she is going to blame herself."

"I know and she has lost so many people in her life. What if this breaks her?"

"It won't. She's tough. Just like all the other Danvers women." J'onn said.

-00-

"Are you in pain?" Eliza asked as she stroked hair off Kara's forehead the next time she woke.

When Kara nodded Eliza pressed a device back into her daughter's hand. "Press that to help." Eliza smoothed. She watched as Kara pressed the button a couple of times before asking. "How's that?"

"Fuzzy." Kara said hoarsely before asking. "Alex?"

"You need to rest Sweetie." Eliza said, trying not to give into her grief.

"But-" Kara started before weariness once again took hold.

"It's going to be okay." Eliza soothed. "Just get some rest."

-00-

"Does she know yet?" Brainy asked when he passed Eliza in the corridor later that day.

"No." Eliza said.

"I will not visit then. I have not fully mastered deception. I am not good at lying. But I thought you may appreciate this...uh, comfort food. Kara and Alex often talked about it." He said offering her a tub of ice cream. Seeing her expression he said. "Ah, I have made a mistake. I have misunderstood this custom….I will do better next time." He said walking off leaving Eliza confused.

-00-

"Eliza?" Kara asked as she opened her eyes and saw her foster mother sitting in a chair.

"Sweetie, how are you feeling?" Eliza asked leaning forward and taking Kara's hand.

"Hurt." Kara said trying to figure out what had happened.

"Your leg is broken." Eliza explained. "As well as a couple of ribs. You also have a couple of bullet wounds. But they'll heal, you just need your powers back." She added as Kara looked round. "Use the pain meds." Eliza reminded her helping her press the button.

"Where's Alex?" Kara asked, trying to take in everything that Eliza had said.

"You need to rest." Eliza said.

"Where's Alex?" Kara repeated picking up the pained expression on Eliza's face, despite her fogginess. When Eliza didn't immediately answer Kara tried to sit up only to yelp in pain.

"Kara, please lie still." Eliza pleaded.

"Alex? Where is she?" Kara asked, deep down knowing, but fearing the answer.

"She….she didn't make it." Eliza said slowly, trying to keep her voice steady.

"No." Kara said before the news finally sunk and she croaked. "No." Once more as the tears flowed freely.


	3. Chapter 3

As Kara slept she started to dream and found herself reliving her last moments with Alex. She recalled Alex pushing her off the edge, away from the Kryptonite cloud. She remembered falling, unable to fly. And as she fell she saw Alex being buried by the debris. She tried to fight her way back to Alex, trying to muster what strength she had to fly towards her sister. But all to no avail. "No!" She screamed sitting up in the infirmary as she tried to fight her way back to Alex. However, she moved so fast that she almost passed out form the pain that tore through her ribs and shoulder.

"Easy." J'onn said as he held on to Kara. "It was a nightmare."

"Nightmare?" Kara asked breathlessly as tears ran down her cheek.

"You're safe now." J'onn soothed.

"Safe?" Kara asked still feeling disorientated. Pulling back from J'onn she looked round and realised she was in the DEO, in the infirmary and there was no Alex. "No...it wasn't a dream was it? She's gone. She's dead because of me."

"Kara no. It wasn't your fault." J'onn said pulling her into his chest again.

"No." Kara cried, sobbing into his chest. "She saved me. She's gone because of me."

"No. She's gone because she made a choice. A choice that she would make every time for any member of her team." He assured her before adding. "You are going to be okay."

"No." Kara repeated as she pulled away from him. Not wanting her to damage her ribs and shoulder further he let her go and watched the torment on her face as she tried to process everything. As she remembered a wave of nausea washed over her and she vomited. Reaching out J'onn grabbed a pan and caught the last remnants before handing Kara a glass of water.

"Kara, you're awake?" Eliza greeted entering the infirmary and hurrying to her daughter's side. Seeing the vomit she calmly said. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"I'll give you some space." J'onn said. "I'll be outside if you need me."

-00-

"Do you have any idea why she isn't healing?" J'onn asked as he approached Brainy.

"Because she has no powers...oh wait, you actually meant do I know why she has no powers? The answer to that is no. Solar flare is the most probable explanation. That combined with exposure to Kryptonite may have caused long term damage. I have read all of Alex's notes regarding previous Solar Flares and Kryptonite exposure, but they have not yielded any answers."

"Keep working on it." J'onn said walking off.

"Should I have commented on the bodily fluids on his clothes?" Brainy asked Vasquez.

"Pretty sure he was aware." Vasquez replied. "If I were you I'd figure out how to fix Supergirl."

-00-

"All done." Eliza said as she tied Kara's gown. "I'm sorry, I should have brought you some real clothes earlier. I wasn't thinking." She added as she helped Kara, who had remained silent, back onto the bed. "How are you feeling?" Eliza asked hoping to get a response from Kara. "Kara?" She pressed again.

"I'm sorry." Kara said.

"For what?" Eliza asked confused.

"She's gone because of me."

"Kara, listen to me." Eliza said taking one of Kara's hands. "What happened was not your fault."

"She died saving me." Kara said as the tears fell.

"Kara, Alex would have sacrificed herself for anyone here." Eliza said. "She wouldn't blame you and I sure don't blame you."

"You should. I have destroyed your family, your life."

"You are my family." Eliza said gently hugging her. "I would not give you up. If I could go back in time to that day Clark brought you to us the only thing I would have done differently is hug you sooner." As she pulled away she said. "I know how hard it is. But I also know that we are going to be okay. We are going to get through this together." Seeing Kara's broken expression she hugged her once more whispering. "It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay." When she finally felt that Kara had stopped crying she pulled away and asked. "Can I get you anything?"

"No. I think I'll just sleep." Kara said.

"Good idea. You need to rest." Eliza said.

"You should go, to a real bed." Kara said when she saw Eliza wasn't leaving.

"I'll stay with you until you fall to sleep." Eliza said as she helped Kara settle.

"I'm okay." Kara said.

"No, you're not." Eliza replied. "But you will be." She added before she sat down once more refusing to leave Kara alone.

-00-

"Have I mentioned how much I detest board meetings. I hate to admit it, but Lex's approach of running things like an insane dictator is sounding ap-" Lena started as she entered her apartment only to notice how shocked and distant James was looking. "What's wrong?"

"I went to the DEO to try and figure out where Alex and Kara were." James explained.

"I thought they had revoked your access?" Lena said moving over to stand next to her boyfriend.

"They had, but J'onn was back...he let me in so he could explain."

"Explain what?" Lena asked.

"There was an attack. It's Alex. She...she's gone." James said.

"Gone?" Lena asked confused.

"She's dead." James explained, struggling to say the words.

"Alex?" Lena asked disbelieving. "What about Kara? Where is she? She shouldn't be alone."

"She's at the DEO, she's hurt."

"What?" Lena asked in disbelief.

"Broken leg and ribs and two bullet wounds. She was there when it happened. It sounds like Alex died saving her." James explained.

"Did you see her?" Lena asked.

"No, I wasn't allowed to. But Eliza's with her."

"Is there anything we can do?" Lena asked still trying to process all the information.

"J'onn said he'd let me know." James replied. "There's something you need to know though."

"What?" Lena asked.

"Cadmus was behind the attack."


	4. Chapter 4

"Here." J'onn said the next day as he handed Eliza a cup as she stood outside the infirmary looking in.

"Thank you." She said never taking her eyes off Kara, who was lying on a bed unmoving.

"How is she?"

"Withdrawn. And she's getting worse. She is barely acknowledging anyone this morning." Eliza said. "I don't know how to help her."

"This isn't just on you. We'll all help her. We're here for both of you."

"I know. I just feel so helpless." Eliza said before asking. "Do you have any idea why she still doesn't have powers?"

"Not really. Brainy thinks it might be because she solar flared at the same time she was exposed to Kryptonite." J'onn said, before adding, carefully watching Eliza as he did so."But Alex was the expert so we are all playing catch up."

"Alex was the glue that held everything together." Eliza said. "I don't know how we are going to cope without her."

Not having a response J'onn just pulled Eliza into his chest.

-00-

"Kara." J'onn said as he sat down next to her bed. When she didn't acknowledge him he continued. "You need to let us in. I know how you are feeling. I know the darkness seems never ending. But I know you will get through this because you are so strong."

"No I'm not. Alex was the strong one." Kara said. "And now she's gone because of me."

"It wasn't your fault."

"It was. Alex pushed me out of the way." Kara said as tears rolled down her cheek. "If she hadn't she would still be alive."

"You don't know that." J'onn said. "What I do know is Alex wouldn't want to see you like this. I know you are in pain, but you have to fight the darkness that is consuming you."

"Why? I'm so tired." Kara replied.

"If you don't want to fight for yourself I can't make you. But this isn't just about you. Eliza has just lost one daughter, don't make her lose another."

"I'm the last person she wants to see. I've cost her her husband and her daughter." Kara said sadly.

"She doesn't see it that way." J'onn said. "You're her daughter and she needs you more than ever."

"For what? I can barely stand."

"She doesn't need Supergirl, she needs Kara, her daughter." J'onn reminded her. "I've been where Eliza is now so I know exactly how much she needs you. I know you're hurt and I know you are in pain. But for Eliza's sake you need to get through this." He said, hoping that by giving Kara focus she would recover faster.

"You're right." Kara said. "I owe her so much."

-00-

Sitting alone in the lamp room later that day Kara tried to think of a way she could help Eliza and some how make right all the wrongs she had caused her. But with every passing moment her nausea seemed to build. Reaching for a pan she felt more pain in her ribs which only made the nausea worse. Trying to remain still she shut her eyes hoping the world would stop spinning, however it didn't and moments later she found herself vomiting again.

"Hello Kara." Brainy greeted as he entered the lamp room. "Oh, you are sick. Would you like me to get a doctor or your foster mother?"

"No. I'll be okay." Kara said, hoping the room would stop spinning.

"I am not a doctor, but I do not believe your assessment is correct." Brainy countered.

"Did J'onn tell you to come and sit in here?" Kara asked changing subjects.

"No...Yes. He expressed concern about you being alone. I suggested I may not be the best choice, but he said as I had already entered your subconscious I was better placed than most to help you….but I can help with that." He said removing the tray from Kara and leaving the room. A minute later he returned with an empty pan which he handed to Kara. When he then just stood next to her she said.

"You don't have to stay here. I'm fine."

"Fine enough to help me?" He asked.

"Are you trying to distract me?" Kara asked.

"Distraction is a valid coping mechanism." He pointed out.

"What do you need?" Kara asked hoping that by focusing on something other than har nausea she would feel better.

"Winn left me several hidden messages, many of which it pains me to say I have not managed to understand yet."

"You want me to explain Winn's notes?"

"Only one. It refers to several movies you have told me to watch on several occasions."

"So what's the problem?" Kara asked.

"He said I had to watch in the right order. But did not say what that order was. My extensive search of databases has not returned a unique answer to the question. There seem to be several right orders."

"Star Wars?" Kara guessed.

"Yes. So will you help me?"

"If you help me with something."

"Of course." Brainy nodded.

-00-

"Kara, are you awake?" Brainy asked entering the lamp room early the next morning.

"Yes, have you done it?"

"Yes, I have made you a brace like you asked. I unfortunately do not have access to the technology from the future that would speed the healing process up. Although I am sure I could recreate it, that may damage the timeline."

"It's fine." Kara said.

"Okay then. Well this will support the leg and allow you to walk, slowly. I do not advise carrying anything. And always use extra support, like a crutch. But it will not help the healing process."

"Thank you." Kara said.

"Would you like me to put it on for you?"

"Sure." Kara said exposing her leg to Brainy who carefully applied the brace.

"Aghh." Kara grunted when he touched the limb.

"Your sister also didn't care for my medical skills." Brainy said, before adding. "Sharing feelings and remembering a loved one are also valid coping mechanisms."

"Can we just focus on my leg?" Kara asked.

"All done." He said before helping Kara get to her feet.

"How is it?"

"It hurts. But, I can put weight on it." Kara said standing by herself.

"Do not forget the crutch." Brainy said handing her one. "Obviously two would be better, but your shoulder wound will not take the strain, so one will have to do. So what now?"

"Now you help me walk." Kara said.

"Should we not confirm that is acceptable with Dr Hamilton?"

"No." Kara said as she unsteadily took a step, then another.

"I feel the need to remind you that exercise consumes energy and you have not been eating." Brainy said, suddenly aware of how wrong helping Kara could go.

"I'll eat when I can walk." Kara said making it to the far wall, although she was getting breathless. Pausing for a minute she turned and started to walk back.

"Kara?" Eliza asked as she entered the infirmary and saw Kara trying to walk. "What are you doing?" She asked hurrying to Kara's side and supporting her.

"Trying to walk." Kara said panting, her face gleaming with sweat.

"You're not ready. You need to stay under the lamps so you can get your powers back."

"It has been nearly two weeks, I don't think they're coming back." Kara said.

"Kara you need to stay here." Eliza said as Kara stood.

"No I don't. They can't do anything for me. I need to accept this is my life from now on. We need to move on. I know you are delaying the funeral so I can attend. Alex sacrificed everything for me. The least I can do is make sure she gets the goodbye she deserves."


	5. Chapter 5

As the priest said their final words before consigning Alex's empty coffin to the ground the audience all sat lost in thought. Lena, sitting next to James, wondered what her mother's true intentions were. Even she had to admit that she had found the perfect way to destroy Supergirl. J'onn felt the curse of loneliness that his long lifespan gave him, wondering if he was cursed to loose all his family. At the back, Sam tightly held Ruby who had tears flowing down her cheek. At the front, Eliza sat numbly staring into the distance, reliving every argument she had ever had with Alex, questioning if she or Cadmus had ultimately caused her daughter more pain. Next to her sat Kara, who was unable to listen to anything that was being said. Knowing that if she did she would break down and she knew she couldn't do that as she needed to be strong for Eliza. So instead she sat thinking, thinking about how she could make amends and how she could repay Eliza.

As she thought she allowed herself a moment of weakness where she recalled all that she had lost. It was then that she had a realisation. It wasn't too late. She could fix everything, but first she needed to be fixed.

"Kara." Eliza said again pulling Kara from her thoughts. Misinterpreting Kara's distance she wrapped an arm round her and whispered. "It's okay." She then silently clung to Kara until J'onn stood in front of them.

"How are you holding up?" He asked looking down.

"Holding on." Eliza said glancing down at Kara before looking back at J'onn and saying. "Thank you for the eulogy. It was lovely."

Silently he nodded before crouching down in front of Kara and squeezing her hand. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay." Kara said forcing herself to look him in the eyes.

"You have a lot of friends here who want to talk to you. But if you're tired we can take you back to the DEO."

"I'm okay." Kara said glancing over to the grouping. "I'll talk to them."

"Do you want me to send them over?" J'onn offered.

"No. I can walk." Kara said. Seeing the frown on his face she offered. "But perhaps you can help me up?"

Having been helped to her feet by Eliza and J'onn she looked at her foster mother and said. "I promise I'm okay. I won't be long."

As she limped off to James J'onn wrapped an arm round Eliza and said. "She'll be okay."

-00-

"Kara." Lena said before hugging her, trying to avoid her injured body parts. "I'm sorry, I know how close you were." Finally pulling away she added. "Seeing I own several high-tech labs, if you need anything to help recover from your injuries you only have to ask."

"Thank you." Kara said.

"Should you be standing?"

"I'm okay." Kara said. "I just have to take things slowly."

"James told me my mother was responsible. I understand if you want to distance yourself from me."

"There is only one person to blame and that isn't you." Kara said, her tone bitter.

"Well, when you are ready I'm here for you. We'll sit down and talk. And don't worry about work, take as much time as you need."

"Thank you." Kara said as Eliza joined them, her concern for her daughter proving overwhelming.

"How are you feeling Sweetie?" Eliza questioned.

"I'm okay."

"Don't push yourself." Eliza gently warned before looking at Lena and guessing. "You must be Lena. Kara and Alex have talked about you a lot."

"I'm sorry for your loss. Alex was an exceptional woman." Lena greeted. "I was just telling Kara that if there is anything I can do, she needs only ask. The same goes for you."

"Thank you." Eliza replied as two more figures joined them.

"I'm so sorry." Sam said hugging Kara as Ruby stood close to her mother's side.

When Sam finally released Kara and Kara just stood numbly Lena said. "Sam, Ruby, this is Eliza."

"We've heard a lot about you." Sam said as she held Ruby close. "I am so sorry. I literally owe Alex my life. I can't believe she's gone."

"Thank you for coming, I know how fond of Ruby Alex was." Eliza said.

"The feeling was definitely mutual." Sam said looking down at Ruby whose eyes were red.

Eliza then squeezed Kara's hand. When Kara looked at her and nodded Eliza said to Ruby.

"Alex really enjoyed looking after you. It made her very happy. You became part of her family." She then reached into her bag. As she did so she said. "Kara and I would like you to have this." With that she pulled out Alex's, now repaired, watch and offered it to Ruby.

"That's Alex's watch, the one her dad gave her. She loved that watch." Ruby said. "She said it always reminded her to keep fighting."

"She can't accept that." Sam said knowing how significant the item had been to Alex.

"She'd have wanted Ruby to have it." Kara said. "We want Ruby to have it." She then looked at Ruby and said. "It won't bring her back, but maybe it can keep her memory alive."

"Thank you." Ruby said taking the watch.

"She'll look after it." Sam assured Eliza and Kara.

-00-

"Hi J'onn." James said approaching the Martian.

"Mr Olsen."

"I just spoke to Kara, she was holding up much better than I was expecting."

"A little too good." J'onn said, wearing a frown. "Five days ago she was barely talking to anyone. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad she is talking to her friends, but the change seems too sudden, too forced."

"About that, did you know she asked Clark not to come?" James asked.

"I didn't."

"He's been trying to make contact ever since it happened, but she's barely talking to him and then when she did answer his call she asked him not to come today."

"Did she give a reason?" J'onn asked.

"Not at first, then she snapped and said it wasn't as if he and Alex got along." James explained.

"That doesn't sound like Kara. I'll talk to her." J'onn assured him. "Excuse me, there is someone I need to talk to." J'onn said noticing a lone figure under a tree. As he approached them he greeted.

"Detective Sawyer."

"J'onn." She replied.

"You don't have to hide back here." He pointed out.

"I wasn't sure if I would be wanted." She confessed.

"No one here holds a grudge against you." He assured her. "You both wanted different things."

"Well today's about Alex and her family. Nothing should get in the way of that." Maggie replied before looking into the distance at Kara and saying. "I can't believe she's gone. What happened?"

"A Cadmus attack."

"Kara's injuries were from that?"

"Yes." J'onn said. "Alex died saving her."

"No wonder she looks so broken." Maggie said before turning to J'onn. "How are you doing?"

"Right now I have Eliza and Kara to worry about." J'onn said slightly deflecting.

"And who's worrying about you?" Maggie asked.

"I've had centuries worth of experience of going it alone. I'll be fine." J'onn assured her just before Maggie found herself engulfed in an unexpected hug.

"Maggie, I wasn't sure if you'd come." Eliza said.

"I wasn't sure if you'd want me here." Maggie said, repeating her earlier explanation.

"No matter what happened between you and Alex you'll always be connected to this family." Eliza said.

"How's Kara?" Maggie said feeling awkward and trying to change the subject.

"Trying to convince everyone she is okay." Eliza replied frowning. "I need to take her back before she collapses, but thank you for coming." She added before walking off.

"Is anyone in that family capable of admitting they are not okay?" Maggie asked.

"No." J'onn replied.

"Do you need any help hunting down Cadmus?" Maggie asked, before reminding him. "I've got contacts you don't."

-00-

Later that evening, after darkness had fallen, a hooded figure emerged from the trees and walked towards the grave. Kneeling they placed a rose on the recently filled grave and said.

"I will make them pay."


	6. Chapter 6

"Do you know why I don't have powers?" Kara asked Brainy the next day as he ran a scan.

"Not yet."

"Theories?" Kara pressed.

"Plenty." He said looking at the results.

"Such as?"

"You were exposed to a large quantity of Kryptonite both during the solar flare and when you didn't have powers. It is possible that being exposed to Kryptonite when you don't have powers causes long term damage, including more permanent power loss. But it is also possible that your powers are not returning due to your emotional state."

"My emotional state?" Kara asked.

"The first time you lost your powers I understand you needed an adrenaline rush to get them back."

"So?"

"Maybe it wasn't just adrenaline. Maybe it was a variety of chemicals. Some of which you are not producing because you are unhappy."

"So I get happy and I get my powers bacK?"

"Ignoring the over simplification, it is possible. But I do not believe you can just turn happiness on."

"Can't you give me some chemicals to mimic the effects?" Kara asked.

"I do not know the right combination of chemicals or if the hypothesis is correct. Even if I did and it was, I do not believe it is ethical."

"What if I didn't care?" Kara asked her tone part pleading, part desperate.

"You seem very focused on getting your powers back." Brainy commented.

"The world needs Supergirl."

"Hmm." Brainy commented.

"What does that mean?" Kara asked.

"Your behaviour is most erratic." Brainy said before leaving the room.

-00-

"Problem?" J'onn asked as he approached Brainy who sat in front of a computer.

"Possibly. Kara has become very focused on getting her powers back."

"Can you blame her? She's in pain. Getting her powers back will get rid of the physical pain."

"True, but I believe there is more too it than that."

"Like what?" J'onn asked.

"Oh….I hope that is not the plan. That would be bad...very bad. Please excuse me. I need to stop something bad." Brainy said disappearing.

-00-

"How are you feeling?" J'onn asked as he sat next to Kara's bed.

"Stronger." Kara said, not confessing to the nausea she was feeling.

"I hear you asked your cousin not to come to the funeral."

"Is everyone spying on me?" Kara snapped before quickly apologising. "Sorry. I'm tired. I'm not sleeping."

"That's understandable. And letting out your anger is healthy. You can use me for that anytime."

"You don't deserve that." Kara said.

"I'm as responsible as everyone else for what happened. I never should have left."

"You had just lost your father." Kara said.

"I was being selfish. I shouldn't have gone. I feel like I deserve to be punished, if letting your anger out on me forms some of that punishment I'm fine with that. Just do me a favour. Don't shut out the people who love you. It won't help you." He let his words sink in before saying. "Brainy said you have become focused on getting your powers back."

"Is that so wrong?"

"No. But don't push it or yourself."

"Brainy thinks my emotional state is stopping my powers returning. Do you think I am that broken?"

"You're not broken, but what happened, what you've been through it's going to take it's toll. You have to give it time."

"Then I want to go home." Kara said. "The lamps aren't helping, maybe at home I can start healing emotionally."

"We both know it will take more than a change of scenery." J'onn said. "But maybe it's not such a bad idea. But is that the only reason you want to go home?"

"I need to get away from here. It feels like my every move is being watched. But no one will look at me."

"Eliza won't be happy." J'onn said.

"She'll listen to you."

"I'll talk to Hamilton." J'onn replied. "In the mean time get some rest."

-00-

"Are you sure you don't want to be at the DEO?" Eliza asked that evening as she helped Kara sit on her couch.

"The lamps weren't helping. Besides there are too many memories there." Kara sadly.

"Aren't there here as well?" Eliza asked not believing Kara.

"The memories here are mainly good ones. Our biggest arguments happened at the DEO." Kara said sadly.

"Okay, but if you start feeling worse I'm taking you back." Eliza agreed before offering. "Can I get you something to eat?"

"No. I'm not hungry." Kara said, struggling with nausea.

"You need to keep your strength up or you won't heal."

"I know." Kara said. "But not today. It's too hard today."

"Okay." Eliza conceded before carefully pulling Kara into her and hugging her. "Do you want to come back to Midvale me?"

"No." Kara said quickly before adding. "I think working will help me." Kara said. "But when my leg is better I'll come to visit."

"I don't have to go back to work for awhile so I can stay down here with you if you want." Eliza offered.

"You don't have to worry about me."

"Yes I do." Eliza said. "It's part of the mom thing."

"I'll be okay. I just need some time to get used to everything." Kara replied. "You heard Lena and Sam, they're going to help."

"Okay, but just remember you are not alone. We are all here for you."

"I know. And I'm here for you too." Kara said squeezing her hand before adding cryptically. "I'm going to do whatever it takes."

"What do you mean?" Eliza asked.

"I'm going to fix us." Kara said but sensing more questions she said. "Actually I think I could eat something."

"What would you like?"

"Some soup and toast?"

"I'll run down to the shops. Are you going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine." Kara promised her.

"Okay, I'll be back soon." Eliza said, happy Kara wanted to eat despite the niggling doubt in her mind over her intentions.

-00-

Once Eliza had finally left Kara slowly and painfully moved to her drawers before opening the bottom one and removing a box. Carefully she removed the lid and as she did so she felt her hope vanish as inside the contents had been replaced by a note. Where should have sat her Legion's ring was instead a note. As the blood pumped round her body so fast all she could hear was a beating in her ears. Trying to ignore it she opened the note.

"I hope that you never read this. But I fear I know your plan and I can not allow you to carry it out. - Brainy."

"No." Kara cried as she scrunched up the note and gave up on ever seeing Alex again.


	7. Chapter 7

"Thank you for driving me." Eliza said as J'onn drove her back to Midvale.

"It's the least I can do. You shouldn't be alone." J'onn said.

"I've been alone ever since Kara followed Alex to National City all those years ago." Eliza reminded him. "It's Kara I'm worried about. I thought she was making progress, but she seemed so defeated this morning. Perhaps we should go back."

"Lena, Sam, James, they'll look out for her. I know it's hard but you need to think about yourself. Burying your pain won't help. Trust me, I've tried, it just made me very angry. And angriness that it took Alex and Kara to break." He said before the two lapsed into silence.

Eventually Eliza said. "I keep expecting her to call."

"We only left an hour ago." J'onn reminded her.

"I meant Alex. I keep finding myself trying to email or text her before I remember I can't."

"It will get easier." J'onn said. "But nothing will ever fill the void."

"How are you doing?" Eliza asked.

"Me?"

"Alex was like a daughter to you. But I have been so consumed with my own grief and Kara's that I never stopped to ask how you were doing. And with your telepathic abilities, it must be so hard to filter out everyone's grief."

The comment earning a wry smile from J'onn who said. "Only two humans have ever picked up on that, you and Alex. For all the difficulties you had, you two really were similar."

-00-

"How are you feeling?" Eliza asked when Kara finally answered her phone.

"I'm okay." Kara said before asking. "Did you have a good journey back?"

"It was fine. But are sure you are okay by yourself?"

"You heard Lena and Sam, they are a phone call away." Kara assured her.

"Okay." Eliza said. "If you need anything, I don't care what time it is, call me."

"I will." Kara said.

"I love you." Eliza said.

"Love you too. Goodnight." Kara replied.

Having ended the call Kara picked up a photo of her and Alex and was unable to stop the tears from flowing. Once again she felt the nausea build and slowly limped towards the bathroom. But as she reached her bed tiredness hit her like a tidal wave. Too tired to go on she sat on the bed and hoped the fatigue and nausea would pass. After a couple of minutes though, while the nausea had subsided the tiredness grew and she lay down and let herself succumb to sleep.

-00-

When Kara woke she she felt dizzy and nauseas, but both of those sensations dulled in comparison to her leg. Trying to sit up she looked round for the pain medication only to remember it was in the kitchen. The kitchen that seemed so far away. For awhile she remained still deciding that she deserved all the pain that she was in. But with each passing minute the pain worsened and she was consumed by thirst. Eventually she forced herself to stand and she grabbed her crutches and tried to move to the kitchen. Only making it two steps before another wave of dizziness hit her causing her to sway before collapsing to the floor. As she landed on her broken leg the pain caused her to pass out.

When she came round again all she could feel was the searing pain in her leg. Too tired to move and too sad to care she just lay on the floor. She had no idea how long she had lay there for when she heard a bang on her door. Too tired to move she just lay on the ground.

"Kara?" Lena called from the other side of the door.

Still choosing to ignore it, Kara lay still only to hear her phone announce a message.

"Kara." Lena called from the other side of the door. "I just heard your phone. I know you are in there. I'm coming in." She said trying the handle, shaking her head when the door opened.

"Kara!" Lena exclaimed when she saw her friend on the floor. "What happened?" She asked as she hurried to Kara's side.

"I tripped." Kara lied, her voice hoarse.

"If I help can you get up or do you want me to call an ambulance?" Lena asked.

"No hospital." Kara said, knowing J'onn had enough to worry about without having to explain her alien blood to the local hospital.

As Lena managed to get Kara to her feet she noticed Kara sway and asked. "What's wrong?"

"Just dizzy. I didn't feel like eating tonight." Kara confessed as Lena helped her to the couch.

"Have you got anything for the pain?" Lena asked seeing the pained expression Kara was wearing.

"They're in the kitchen, but they make me feel sick." Kara said.

"That's probably because you are not eating with them." Lena said as she went to find the box. Having read the label she asked. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Breakfast I guess?" Kara responded as Lena started opening cupboards.

Relieved to find them stocked Lena made some toast and brought it, some water and the pain meds over to Kara.

"I'm not hungry." Kara said, the thought of food making her queasy.

"I know. But if you don't eat you'll feel worse." Lena said. As she handed Kara a glass of water and couple of tablets she noticed the photo of Alex on the coffee table.

"Where's Eliza?" She asked once Kara had swallowed the pills.

"She went back to Midvale."

"Why didn't you go with her?" Lena asked surprised.

"I need time alone." Kara replied hoping Lena would get the hint.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Lena said as she handed Kara the plate.

Noticing that Lena was watching her Kara half heartedly took a bite of toast and said.

"I'll be fine now. I'm just going to go to sleep." When Lena didn't move she added. "You don't need to stay."

"I'm going to stay here tonight." Lena said.

"No." Kara replied.

"Ignoring the fact you shouldn't be alone at a time like this, I'm not convinced you didn't bang your head." Lena said. "You can't be alone." With that she sat down and watched Kara who just stared at the toast.

"Do you want to talk about Alex?" Lena offered.

"Why? It won't bring her back." Kara answered.

"It may make you feel better." Lena argued.

"I don't deserve to feel better." Kara said bitterly.

"Kara, I know I didn't know Alex well, but she'd want you to be happy." Lena said. "What I do know more than most is how it feels when you think the world is against you. You've seen me when I've been there and you saw how I acted. So whatever you need to do or say, I'm fine with that."

"Right now I just need to be alone." Kara said.

"Okay, I lied. I'm not fine with that." Lena responded. "You shouldn't be alone."

"Then I'll just go to bed, assuming that is allowed." Kara said her tone snappy.

"I'm just trying to help you." Lena said calmly.

"I don't need or deserve help." Kara said.

"Words straight out of my mouth. But, rightly, you have never listened to me and now I'm returning the favour." Lena said. "Do you need help getting to the bedroom or do you want to sleep on the couch?" Not giving Kara time to argue she said. "I'd say you'd be better in bed, but I think it might be best not to move you. So here's what we'll do. You will stay on the couch. I'll set up some movies and we'll watch until you fall to sleep."

-00-

Not wanting to share her nightmares Kara forced herself to stay awake and almost sagged in relief when Lena started to softly snore. Content that her friend wouldn't ask further questions Kara reached for her phone and thumbed her way through the photos of her and Alex. But with each photo the sadness and guilt grew until she couldn't stop the silent tears.

-00-

"Did you get any sleep?" Lena asked when she woke with a stiff neck and saw Kara was watching TV.

"A little." Kara lied.

"Good." Lena smiled. "So what do you want to do today?"

"It's Thursday." Kara pointed out.

"It is."

"You should be at work."

"I'm the boss. I can take a day off." Lena countered.

"Lena, I appreciate what you are trying to do. But I need time alone to process everything. There are things I need to do, but I can't with you here."

"I tell you what. I will leave you alone. But I will come back later with food and if you want we can have a movie night." Lena conceded. "If you want we could invite Sam round?"

"I'm really not up for company right now." Kara said not wanting another person around that she'd have to lie to.

"Fine, no Sam." Lena agreed. "I'll be back later." Kara watched Lena go before standing and limping over to the front door, which she locked. Happy she wouldn't be disturbed again she went back to the couch.


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey J'onn." Maggie greeted.

"Detective Sawyer."

"How's Kara and Eliza?"

"Eliza is back in Midvale and Kara is keeping to herself."

"She's still in National City?" Maggie asked.

"She said she wanted to focus on work." J'onn explained.

"And you believed her?"

"No. But here I can keep an I on her." He said as he sat down and asked. "What have you got?"

"I don't know if you are aware of this, but National City is becoming a refuge for aliens. I guess having a Kryptonian and a Martian defending the city made it an attractive prospect."

"What does this have to do with Cadmus?" J'onn asked not seeing the link.

"Normally the aliens come from all over, but occasionally you get groupings from one place. Most of the aliens keep to themselves so it is hard to get much intel from them. But you can normally find out where they came from, if not why they left. Turns out that Cadmus rocking up somewhere causes an exodus of aliens. Six groupings in the last year correspond to places where we, well you, later found a Cadmus base."

"Nice work." J'onn said. "If NCPD can spare you I'd like you to work with Brainy to figure out where their current operations are."

"Brainy?" Maggie asked.

"He's….you'll figure it out."

-00-

"You okay?" James asked Lena as he stepped on to the balcony and saw Lena looking out over the city.

"No. I feel so helpless."

"Kara?" He guessed.

"Yeah."

"I thought you had made progress?"

"So did I, but when I returned with some fresh food she had locked me out."

"Perhaps she went out." James said.

"No. I could hear her inside. She was in there."

"Do you want me to call J'onn? He can go in."

"I don't know. I mean she shouldn't be alone but if we force it, is she going to shut herself off completely? But then again maybe it's just me she doesn't want to be around. I mean my mother has taken her foster father and Alex from her."

"Kara doesn't hold you responsible." James said.

"Maybe she should. How many times have I stood next to my mother and not managed to stop her?"

"She's still your mother." James reminded her.

-00-

"Detective Sawyer was correct, there is a correlation between large numbers of new alien arrivals from areas we have found Cadmus bases. Of course it is not always the case and if you assumed it was there would be a large number of false positives. However, I have designed a model to minimise those false positives. Unfortunately we can't verify the hypothesis remotely as the bases tend to be hidden underground and based on your previous experience they have a very low e.m. profile so they are hard to detect."

"So we need to send in some task forces?" J'onn asked.

"Yes. But I would caution sending them to every site as that may give Cadmus an indication that we can track them."

"So what do you recommend?" Maggie asked.

"I have identified two sites, which I believe to be the most like location of Cadmus bases. Focus just on those two." Brainy said as J'onn's phone rang. Glancing at the caller I.D. he said. "I need to take this." With that he backed away and answered the call.

"Can you figure out what they are doing at the bases based on supplies or traffic that are being shipped towards the locations?" Maggie asked.

"An impressively insightful question." Brainy commented. "I will examine the data available."

"Problem?" Maggie said as J'onn returned wearing a frown.

"Kara has shut herself off from everyone. She's even locked herself in her apartment. I need to go round there."

"We've got this." Maggie said. "Worry about Kara."

-00-

As J'onn waited outside Kara's apartment he wasn't surprised when she didn't answer. Knocking once more he called. "I'm coming in in twenty seconds." He then waited for any type of response. Getting none he used his Martian powers to phase shift through the door. As he entered he saw Kara sitting on the couch hugging a cushion.

"Kara." He called gently as he approached her. Not getting any response he sat down next to her and silently pulled her into him. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have left you."

"You're not responsible for me." Kara said.

"I promised Eliza that you'd be okay." J'onn said. "We both thought you were doing better. What happened?"

"I thought I could go back and save her."

"What do you mean?" J'onn asked.

"Mon-El gave me a ring. I thought I could save her, just like I saved everyone during the fight with Reign."

"That's why you were so desperate to get your powers back?" J'onn guessed.

"Yes. But it doesn't matter now. Brainy stole my ring."

"He will have had good reasons." J'onn said whilst wondering what they were."You told Eliza you were going to start work."

"I lied. I didn't want her to worry. She deserves better than that."

"I hate to break it to you, but I am pretty certain that Eliza knows you are lying." J'onn pointed out."Why don't you move in with me? That way I can look after you, but I'll be out during the day so you can have time to yourself."

"I need to process and I need to be alone to do that. But no one seems to understand."

"That is because we care about you." J'onn said.

"I don't deserve that. I have cost you all so much." Kara said sadly. "I refuse to be a burden any longer."

"No one sees you as a burden except you." J'onn said. "You have sacrificed so much for us, this city and this planet. Let us repay some of that."

"I don't want to be repaid. I just want Alex back, but no one can give me that." Kara said. "And if I can't have that I need time alone to carry out the Kryptonian grieving rituals."

"What rituals?" J'onn asked.

"Rituals we carry out after death to help souls make their way to Rao's light. I can't do them with everyone interrupting all the time."

"I tell you what. If you promise to keep phoning Eliza and you make regular contact with me I won't push you. But you have to join me for a meal at least once a week." He suggested, despite believing Kara was lying.


	9. Chapter 9

When J'onn returned to the DEO the following morning he saw Maggie and Brainy staring at a screen frowning.

"Problem?" He asked

"Are you sure Kara doesn't have powers?" Maggie asked.

"She can barely walk." J'onn said. "Why?"

"When the teams reached Brainy's suggested Cadmus locations they found this." Maggie said pointing to the screen which showed images of smouldering remains.

"Why didn't you call me?" J'onn asked.

"We thought Kara needed you more and until Brainy has done his thing there wasn't much to report." Maggie said.

"From what I have managed to gather so far they were both Cadmus bases. But someone went in and destroyed them very recently." Brain explained.

Closing his eyes he tried to recall his discussion with Kara from the night before. As he remembered seeing her bruises and cuts he said. "Kara still isn't healing. She doesn't have powers."

"Well whoever did this has a grudge against Cadmus." Maggie said.

"Seeing they have tried to kill every alien on this planet that doesn't narrow it down." J'onn pointed out.

"More importantly they appear to have better information on Cadmus than we do." Brainy said. "After all they found and destroyed the bases before we had a chance to get there."

"So we are looking for someone who wants to destroy Cadmus and knows enough about them to find them?" J'onn asked.

"Yes." Brainy agreed. "But the timing of the attacks implies they could be holding Cadmus responsible for Alex's death."

"Well that narrows the list to one." J'onn said. "I wondered when we would cross paths again."

"Wait, you think Jeremiah is behind the attacks?" Maggie asked.

"No matter what happened, he loves Alex." J'onn said. "He also knows more about Cadmus than anyone."

"But he is still just one man." Maggie argued.

"He could have hired mercenaries." J'onn said.

"What about Lena Luthor?" Brainy asked. "She has the resources and having read past mission reports she seems to have a way to reach Lillian Luthor."

"Why would Lena be affected by Alex's death?"

"Ignoring the fact she is Kara's best friend, she and Alex had been working together recently." J'onn said. "But I don't think she is responsible, she's been spending her time trying to help Kara."

"Pretty sure she could afford mercenaries or minions." Maggie pointed out wondering when Alex and Lena had become colleagues.

"Is there any evidence of Guardian being at any of the scenes?" J'onn asked.

"Not that I have found, but there is still lots of evidence to go through." Brainy replied. "But you are correct, if Lena is involved Guardian probably will be too. But there is another possibility." Brainy said. "Sam."

"Bring her in for a routine scan and make sure she isn't reverting." J'onn said.

"And Lena?" Brainy asked.

"I'll talk to her." Maggie offered wondering what they were talking about with Sam. She then asked. "If Jeremiah really is behind the attacks is there a chance he could blame Kara and go after her?" Maggie asked.

"No," J'onn started only to stop himself. "I don't know. It's possible. I'll arrange a DEO protection detail to set up outside her apartment."

-00-

"Hey." James called as he returned home.

"Hey." Lena said as she nursed a wine glass.

"From the frown I assume Kara is still not letting you in."

"No. And then she texted me to say she was going away for awhile." Lena said.

"Time away may do her some good." James pointed out. "There are a lot of memories in her apartment. Also J'onn did offer her his spare room."

"Except she's gone to Alex's apartment." Lena said.

"How do you know that?"

"I followed her." Lena confessed before explaining. "I was worried. But if I turn up at Alex's she'll know I followed her and I am pretty sure she will really disappear." She added as there was a knock on the door. Opening it James was surprised to see Maggie.

"Maggie? What are you doing here?"

"Hi James. Is Lena here?"

"Um sure." He said letting her in.

"Hello Maggie." Lena greeted. "What are you doing here?"

"I need to ask you a question. Both of you. But before you get defensive, I'm not here as a cop."

"What am I being accused of this time?" Lena asked.

"Do you have any contact or way to contact your mother?"

"She is the one who does the contacting." Lena said as James defensively asked.

"You're not accusing Lena of being involved in what happened to Alex are you?"

"No."

"You're after revenge?" Lena guessed.

"Maybe, but that's not what this is about. Someone is already taking revenge. At least two Cadmus bases have been destroyed."

"Unfortunately it's not me...although if I do find out where my mother is I make no guarantees." Lena said.

"Before you do anything remember how much Kara has already lost. Don't cost her more." Maggie said.

"Who else is on the suspect list?" Lena asked.

"Jeremiah and Sam."

"Sam?" Lena asked before standing. "I need to get to the DEO." With that she left, leaving Maggie even more confused.

-00-

"Lena? What are you doing here?" J'onn asked.

"I heard you thought Sam might be involved in the attacks on Cadmus." Lena explained.

"We just need to rule out the possibility." J'onn said. "Seeing you know more about Sam and Reign than anyone here I would happily accept any assistance you can offer."

"Of course. Does Sam know she is a suspect?"

"No. I didn't want to worry her for nothing." He said.

"Thank you." Lena replied.

"I'll leave Sam to you. I need to work on the other lead." He said before turning to leave. Pausing he asked. "Have you heard from Kara?"

"A text to say she was going away."

"She's what?" J'onn asked.

"She's gone to Alex's apartment. Although she hasn't told anyone that."

"Damn it. I thought I was getting through to her." He said walking off.


	10. Chapter 10

"Lena? What are you doing here?" Sam asked as Lena walked into the DEO infirmary. Then her mind answered the question for her and she paled. "Is Reign back?"

"No." Lena assured her.

"Please don't lie to me. I need to know, is she back? Is Ruby in danger?"

"No. Ruby is not in danger and you are you." Lena promised.

"Then why the sudden tests? Why are you here?"

"I'm here as I am the most qualified to check that you are really you now that Alex is gone."

"Are you sure she's not back?" Sam asked as the blood pumped quickly round her body imaging the worse case.

"Sam I promise you Reign is gone." Lena said.

"Then why are you here? Why am I here? Something is going on." Sam said.

"It is. But not Reign" Lena confessed. "Cadmus were responsible for what happened to Alex."

"Okay." Sam said not seeing the connection.

"Over the last couple of days at least two of their bases have been destroyed. J'onn is trying to figure out who is behind the attacks and is just covering all bases. The only reason you are here is because you and Alex were friends. There is no evidence Reign was involved and all your tests are normal. You really are okay. If it makes you feel better I am also on the suspect list."

"Why?"

"I'm a non-loyal Luthor with mother issues." Lena shrugged before once again assuring Sam. "You really are okay."

"Thank you." Sam said relaxing slightly before asking. "Have you seen Kara?"

"Yes." Lena said.

"Is she okay? She's not answering my calls."

"She's shutting herself off from everyone. She's struggling." Lena said.

"Is there anything I can do? I was thinking that maybe we could do something to remember Alex."

"I agree, but Kara isn't ready." Lena replied. "When I say struggling, she is really struggling. She has done so much for me I wish I knew how to help her."

"You don't have to try to help her alone. I'm serious, anything you need, anything she needs I'm there."

"I know. And if I figure it out I promise I will call. In the meantime you should go spend time with Ruby. How is she doing?"

"Getting there." Sam said. "But she is still so young to have to deal with this, especially on top of being the half alien daughter of a worldkiller."

"Better than being the adopted daughter of an alien hating sociopath who murdered Alex." Lena said. "But I have no doubt that Ruby will be okay. She's tough, just like her mom." Lena replied.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked.

"Just frustrated and angry." Lena replied. "But that's fine it's a Luthor's natural state."

"Uh-huh. Why don't you come round for dinner tonight and we can try to figure out a way to help Kara?" Sam suggested.

"I'd like that."

"Good. I'll see you at six."

-00-

"Eliza, hi." Kara said trying to sound cheerful when she called her foster mother a few days later.

"Sweetie. How are you? How's your leg?" Eliza asked.

"It's getting better." Kara lied as she looked down at the pounding limb.

"Are you sure? Are you sure you don't want to come down and help until you get your powers back?"

"I'm sure. Besides they may not come back this time." Kara said before quickly adding. "But I'm okay with that."

"You don't have to put on a brave front." Eliza reminded her.

"It's hard to travel with my leg. But when it's better I'll come up to see you, I promise." Kara said changing the subject.

"I'll hold you to that." Eliza said.

"I think my pizza is here." Kara lied again. "I have to go."

"Okay, I love you Sweetie. Call if you need anything." Eliza said.

"I will." Kara said. "Love you too." With that she ended the call and turned off the phone as she wiped the tears from her face and limped to Alex's bed, which she lay down on.

-00-

Kara woke sensing a presence. Hearing a noise she stood and started to limp out of the bedroom only to see someone she never thought she'd see again.

"Alex? How?" Kara asked as she saw her sister standing in the kitchen.

"Why are you here?" Alex asked, no warmth in her voice.

"I wanted to feel close to you."

"Really? Perhaps you just wanted to fully take my place." Alex replied.

"What?" Kara asked.

"Ever since you came to this planet you have tried to replace me. First with my parents, then at the DEO. And now here you are in my apartment having got rid of me."

"No." Kara said. "I never tried to replace you. You're my sister. I love you."

"I'm dead because of you. You may as well have detonated that bomb yourself." Alex shot back.

"No. Alex, I'm sorry." Kara cried.

"Sorry? You stole everything from me. My parents, my life and all you can say is sorry? I'm dead and it's your fault." Alex said.

"Alex-" Kara started as tears ran down her face.

"You were never my sister, you were my curse." Alex interrupted.

"I'm sorry." Kara sobbed moments before she woke up in Alex's bed dripping in sweat.

As she tried to get her breathing under control she was unable to escape the accusations that Alex had thrown her way she no longer felt the bed or the apartment was the sanctuary it had been. Stumbling out of the bed she grabbed her crutch and limped to the door before leaving the apartment.


	11. Chapter 11

A few days later Lena's concern for Kara had peaked and she decided not to wait any longer. Not caring about the consequences Lena grabbed some food and went straight to Alex's apartment. What she wasn't expecting was to arrive and find the door ajar.

"Kara." She called. "Kara, I brought you some food." She added. Not getting any response she pushed the door open and entered. "Kara." She called again, but found herself met by emptiness.

As she moved into the bedroom she saw the sheets were rumpled and she assumed Kara had slept there, although she had no idea why Kara would have left and left the door open. Concerned that something may have happened Lena opened the drawers in the kitchen looking for any sign of Kara. As she opened one drawer she found a key with a keyring that undoubtedly belonged to Kara. Picking it up she left the apartment, shutting the door behind her.

-00-

"Kara open up or I'm coming in." Lena said banging on the door of Kara's apartment. "I know you are in there." Lena said trying the handle, but as expected the door was locked. Sighing she took out the key that she had found at Alex's apartment and let herself in.

"Does privacy mean nothing to you?" Kara asked looking at the door.

"Kara, you look awful. When was the last time you ate?"

"I'm fine."

"You really suck at lying."

"Don't be so sure."

"Kara, I can't imagine what you are going through, but I want to help. Why won't you let me or if not me James or Sam or J'onn?"

"I don't deserve your sympathy or your pity."

"Good because I'm offering neither. I'm here as your friend."

"Friend?"

"Yes, we are friends."

"No we're not." Kara said shaking her head. "How can we be when I lie to you every time I see you?"

"Kara-" Lena started only for Kara to interrupt.

"I am the person who betrayed you the most. You already hate me but not for the right reason."

"Kara-" Lena tried to interrupt again, but Kara was not to be deterred.

"You very clearly said we weren't friends. And you are so right. I don't deserve you friendship."

"Kar-" Lena tried again, but once again had no effect.

"I'm Supergirl...at least I was."

"I know." Lena said. "You really think I would know Sam was Reign but not know you were Supergirl?"

"Well you said it yourself we're not friends. I betrayed you. Friends don't do that. I am no better than your mother."

"Kara, you are a good person."

"I ruin people's lives. Just like your mother."

"You are nothing like my mother."

"You're right, she's honest about her intentions. I just lie." Kara said. With every statement Lena could see the self hate rise in Kara.

"Kara, you are good person. And because you are a good person you are blaming yourself. I think the reason you just revealed yourself to me is because you want me to hate you and punish you because you think you deserve it. But I'm doing neither.

"Don't use your cheap pop psychology on me. You know nothing about me." Kara said her tone turning angry.

"Ka-" Lena tried again.

"We're not friends. We have never been friends. How can we have been when I never told you the truth? Everyone I care about leaves or dies or have their world ripped to pieces, so if I were you I would run as fast as I can away from me before I ruin your life in the same way I have ruined everyone else's."

"Kar-" Lena tried again concerned with how angry and upset Kara was.

"Just go. Now!" Kara screamed.

Not sure how to help Kara and not wanting to make the situation worse, Lena silently left the apartment.

-00-

Once Lena had gone Kara collapsed on the couch and hugged a cushion thinking about all the lives she had ruined. She had no idea how long she had sat there when she was eventually pulled from her thoughts by an alarm. Picking up her phone she took a deep breath and rang Eliza.

"Kara, how are you?" Eliza answered.

"Much better." Kara said trying to sound happy.

"So are you back at work properly?"

"I'm working." Kara lied.

"Really, I've not seen any of your articles."

"I am just researching at the moment." Kara said.

"You're not doing anything dangerous are you?"

"No. Of course not."

"And how's you leg?"

"Much better."

"That's good. When are you coming to visit?"

"Not until my leg is fully better. Also I can't take time off work at the moment. I mean I took so much time off."

"You know if you want me to visit you only have to ask?"

"I know. But I'm really busy."

"J'onn mentioned he hadn't seen you at the DEO recently."

"It's too hard to go to the DEO." Kara answered honestly.

"I know. But remember we are all there for you."

"I know." Kara said, struggling to keep the tears at bay.

"I love you." Eliza said. Her voice sounding like it was cracking, driving Kara's guilt.

"Love you too." Kara said.

-00-

"Lena." James called for the fifth time

"James! Hi." Lena replied.

"You okay, you look concerned."

"I'm worried about Kara."

"We all are."

"I went to see her today."

"Another unopened door?" James guessed.

"No I got in. I borrowed a key from Alex's apartment, long story. But she is not in a good way. She's given up. She believes she should be punished."

"She and Alex were close and she has been through a lot."

"I know and that's why we shouldn't be sitting back giving her space. We need to act before we lose her forever."

"You have a plan?"

"More of a Hail Mary."

-00-

"What are you doing here?" Cat asked.

"I need your help."

"You're realising running a media empire is harder than you thought?" Cat guessed.

"I never thought that was easy, but that's not why I'm here." Lena said.

"Then what is it?"

"Kara."

"What about her?"

"She's broken and no one knows how to help."

"And you're here because?"

"We both know you have a soft spot for Kara. It's impossible not to." Lena said. "And she still admires you."

"I still don't see what you want me to do. I thought you were her bff. Shouldn't you be helping her?"

"I've tried, she won't listen. She doesn't even open the door any more. She needs someone who knows how to see the light in the dark. From what she said, what James said, what Winn said, that has always been you."


	12. Chapter 12

Kara lay on the couch as the room span round her, trying to ignore the nausea. When she heard a bang on the door, she lay still, too lethargic to move.

As the banging got louder she looked at the door but could not find the energy or the will to move. As she wondered when the visitor would go away she heard a familiar but unexpected voice demand.

"Kiera, open up right now."

"Cat?" She asked quietly, wondering if she was dreaming.

"Kiera!" The voice persisted, as did the banging.

Sitting up she tried to ignore the wave of nausea that washed over her before slowly getting to her feet. Picking up her crutch she unsteadily limped to the door and opened it.

"Cat?" Kara asked as she stared dumbly at her mentor.

"It's worse than I thought." Cat said as she looked at Kara. "Stop gaping and go and sit down before you fall down." Cat ordered. Obediently Kara limped back to the couch allowing Cat into the apartment. As Cat stepped inside and saw the carnage she had a change of plan and asked.

"Can you walk?"

"With a crutch." Kara said.

"So your inability to dress properly isn't due to lack of mobility?"

"No." Kara said looking down at her clothes.

"Then get dressed and pack a bag."

"Bag?" Kara asked confused.

"Chop chop." Cat said without giving any further explanation.

-00-

Cat watched with growing concern as Kara sat unresponsive in the car as they drove to Cat's house. When they arrived and Kara made no effort to move Cat decided issuing orders was the way to go.

"Don't just sit there. The house won't move to you." For a minute she wondered if Kara had even heard, but eventually Kara got out of the car and unsteadily limped to the house. Once inside she stood dumbly causing Cat to say, pointing to the lounge.

"Through there. Go sit down."

Again Kara silently obeyed the command as Cat disappeared to the kitchen, grateful that her maid had managed to stock it before her arrival. Eventually she returned, carrying a tray with food and drink, to the lounge to find Kara staring silently at the wall. Carefully she approached her former assistant and put tray down on the coffee table. She then picked up a cup and handed it to Kara.

"I don't want anything." Kara said.

"My house, my rules." Cat said forcing Kara to take the cup. "When was the last time you ate a real meal?" In response Kara shrugged.

"Something hot?"

"I've not been hungry."

"You have to eat."

"I can't...I feel sick, all the time."

"Starving yourself won't make you feel any better."

"Why am I here?" Kara asked.

"You are clearly incapable of looking after yourself."

"Why do you care?" Kara asked, her tone not one of accusation but genuine uncertainity.

"You may not see it and you clearly don't feel it, but you are special. I can't sit back and watch you self-destruct. You need help."

"No I don't. People round me get hurt or die. I have caused so much pain. Sometimes I think I never should have come here."

"You would have preferred to have died with Krypton?" Cat asked.

"Yes." Kara said before her brain caught up. "You know?"

"Of course I know." Cat said before asking. "But have you really hated your time on this planet that much?"

"No...but by being here I have destroyed Eliza's family."

"No you haven't. Not yet at least. But keep this up and you will." She paused and carefully watched Kara before asking. "Why aren't you sleeping? Is it the pain, I mean physical pain from your leg, or guilt?"

"How do you know I'm not sleeping?"

"Because I can see you. You are pale, gaunt and a raccoon would be proud of the black rings round your eyes."

"I keep dreaming of Alex. She tells me that I stole everything from her, that I killed her." Kara confessed.

"It's a dream Kara."

"It doesn't feel like one."

"That's because it is being guided by your guilt. You always assume too much guilt."

-00-

Eliza sat in the kitchen looking at the picture of Alex the day she had won the science fair. Feeling the tears flow once more she put the picture down and wiped the tears from her face. Hearing the front door open she assumed and hoped Kara had come home. Standing she moved to the door only to see the last person she was expecting.

"Alex?" She finally managed to gasp in disbelief.

"Mom." Alex replied before hugging her shocked mother.

"How?" Eliza finally managed to ask as she clung to her daughter.

"A little gentler." Alex gasped as Eliza clung on too hard.

"Sorry." Eliza said immediately releasing her daughter. "Are you really here?" She asked in disbelief.

"I am." Alex assured her.

"I, we all, thought you were dead." Eliza said gently hugging Alex once more, unable to stop the tears flowing."

"I'm okay." Alex assured her as Eliza wept on her shoulder. After several minutes Eliza regained composure and pulled away saying. "We have to tell Kara."

"Kara?" Alex asked.

"She'll be so happy. This has hit her more than anyone. She tries to put on brave face but I can tell she's hurting. You should call her." Eliza said before noticing her daughter's expression. "What's wrong?"

"Who is Kara?" Alex asked confused.

"This may be my fault." A cloaked figure said as they stepped towards Alex.


	13. Chapter 13

"Alex?" Kara asked when she opened her eyes and saw her sister stare down at her.

"Kara." Alex said coolly.

"Are you really here?" Kara asked sitting up, trying ignore the pain that shot through her body.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you're dead. I killed you."

"You did more than that. You destroyed my family. First I lost my father, then you destroyed my relationship with mom. You argued with Maggie. You cost me my medical career and then you killed me." Alex said. "You are a curse. Lillian Luthor was right, you are no hero. But killing you won't achieve anything. You need to learn how much pain you have caused." She said before plunging a dagger into Kara's leg.

Waking up Kara bolted upright as pain washed through her. Looking down at her broken leg she placed her hand over where she had been stabbed in the dream as she tried to get her breathing under control.

She had almost succeeded when the light in the room turned on and Cat walked in and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Speak." Cat said.

"About?"

"Whatever you want. Although the death of your sister seems a good place to start...that or your nightmare, but I'm sure the two are connected."

"You know about the nightmare?"

"I do."

"How?" Kara asked before answering it herself. "Dumb question, you're Cat Grant."

"Although my omniscience is famous the world over, this time the screaming in your sleep was a give away."

"Sorry."

"What have I said about apologising?" Cat asked. "Clearly my absence has had a detrimental effect on you. So speak."

"I'm fine."

"You've given up. That isn't fine." Cat said before asking. "Is this how you think Alex would want you living, or not living your life?"

"You didn't know Alex." Kara snapped.

"I met her and I saw her with you enough times to know how much she loved you." Cat said. "I know she didn't give her life to have you fall apart."

"No you don't." Kara countered.

"Did you know she disobeyed an order from the President in order to protect you?" Cat asked. The question causing Kara to look at her confused. "It was during the Daxamite invasion. She was told to destroy the ship that you were on. She refused because she knew it would kill you."

"She never said." Kara said quietly.

"Alex loved you." Cat said. "I know it is hard to lose someone you care about, but you can't give up."

"I was meant to protect her. What is the point of powers if everyone I care about gets hurt?" Kara asked. "It should have been me that died, not Alex."

"That's not what Alex wanted." Cat reminded her. "She chose to save you because she knew how hard it would be to loose you. She's had to face it many times. How do you think Alex felt when you flew the space prison back into space or when you were fighting Reign? Yet she never gave up."

"Alex is...was the strongest person I knew. I tried to be strong for Eliza. But it is so hard." Kara said.

"Why do you have to be strong?"

"I owe Eliza so much. I cost Eliza her husband and her daughter. I am a curse."

"You're her daughter." Cat corrected. "I've met her. And she doesn't see you as a curse. She sees you as her daughter. She loves you. Seeing you like this will hurt her more than she is hurting already."

"That's why I lie. I tell her I'm fine. That I'm healing."

"You clearly don't video call." Cat said. "Cutting yourself and lying isn't going to ease her pain."

-00-

"Eliza?" J'onn called as he entered the house, wondering why Eliza had asked him to come quickly.

"J'onn." Eliza said approaching him and hugging him.

"What's happened?" He asked concerned.

"It's a miracle. Follow me." she said leading him upstairs to the room J'onn, pretending to be Alura, had talked to Kara in all those years ago. Confused he looked into the room and came to an abrupt stop.

"Alex?" J'onn asked seeing her sleeping on the couch.

"She's alive." Eliza said quietly so not to wake her.

"How?" He asked unable to take his eyes off her.

"She had some help." Eliza explained looking over at Alex once more like she feared she would disappear, before leading J'onn back downstairs.

"Help?" J'onn asked.

"From her." Eliza said as they entered the lounge where a cloaked figure was waiting. "It's okay." Eliza said. "He's a friend and an alien." The words causing the being to remove their hood revealing a blue face with stalk like antennas emerging from her head.

"You are a Jemgal." J'onn commented recognising the species. "I did not know there were any of you left."

"I am Raffa, one of the last." Raffa said sadly. "We came here after the war but knew we could not share the land. We caused too much fear. Now we live in the old mines where humans no longer go." She explained.

"I'm J'onn J'onzz, a green martian." J'onn introduced trying to understand what was happening.

"She saved Alex." Eliza said.

"I found Alex." Raffa corrected.

"Can you tell me what happened?" J'onn asked wondering if it was really Alex upstairs or some cruel trick.

"I found her floating in one of the rivers that went through the mines. She was near death when I found her. So weak….but a fighter. I could sense her will to survive. I helped her as best as I could and although I am not a healer she was making progress...until she heard something."

"Something?" J'onn asked.

"We can not live amongst the humans, but we still follow events of the world in the hope that one day the world will be ready to accept us." She started. The starting point confusing J'onn and Eliza, but patiently they listened. "After a week of hovering between this world and the next she showed short moments of consciousness. It was during one of these spells she heard the news that Supergirl was dead. After that her spirit broke. Her health declined she loss her will to live. So I helped her forget."

"Forget what?" Eliza asked.

"I wanted her to forget what she had heard so she still had hope." Raffa said.

"The Jemgal's are empathic telepaths." J'onn explained. "They have been used by many worlds to help overcome grief by temporarily changing or blocking memories to ease someone through the grief process."

"I thought if I could help her forget what she had heard she would have hope. She would fight." Raffa said. "But my powers, I have barely used them since I arrived on this planet, and I helped her forget too much."

"That's why she doesn't remember Kara?" Eliza asked.

Nodding Raffa said. "I am sorry. But the process is reversible. The memories are not gone, just hidden. They will return when she is ready or when she is helped."

"Can you reverse what you did?" J'onn asked trying to catch up.

"I used to be able to, back on my planet. But that was over four hundred of the Earth years ago. I fear I would cause further harm."

"Can you help her?" Eliza asked J'onn.

"I don't know. I can try." He said as Alex walked into the room carrying a photo frame.

"Alex." J'onn greeted as he walked towards her.

"J'onn." She said before hugging him. "I've missed you."

"Me too." He said squeezing her. "I cant believe you are alive. I am so sorry for calling off the search."

"It's true isn't it?" Alex asked pulling away.

"What is?" J'onn asked.

"I have a sister?"

"You don't remember anything?" J'onn asked.

"No. And I see the photos and it's like there is a hole in my memory."

"More of a block." J'onn said.

"Can you unblock it?" Alex asked.

"If you want we can try and release it. But before you agree it will unearth a lot of painful memories. I know you are strong, but it won't be easy for you."


	14. Chapter 14

"When was the last time you saw a doctor?" Cat asked as she handed Kara a glass of water.

"Just after the funeral."

"That was weeks ago. Why haven't you gone back?"

"They can't do anything." Kara said. "I just have to wait for my powers to come back."

"And how long before you realise they should have been back weeks ago?"

"I know that. But they may not come back this time." Kara confessed.

"Is there any evidence to support that?"

"I was exposed to Kryptonite as I was loosing them and after I had lost them. No one knows what effect that has. It's possible it is permanent loss of powers. They also think I'm too sad, too broken to get my powers back."

"What do you think?" Cat asked.

"I've failed time and again to protect those I love. I don't deserve powers."

"Even if your powers are gone for good, you should still heal like a human." Cat said. "Do you think you are improving at all?"

"I don't know."

"That's a no then." Cat replied. "This can't go on. There is clearly something very wrong with you."

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters." Cat argued.

"If my powers are gone. Supergirl is gone."

"But Kara still lives." Cat said. "And we are going to fix you."

"No one can help. Alex was the expert." Kara said.

"Then we find a new expert. Isn't there a walking, talking, supercomputer at the DEO at the moment?"

"Brainy?" Kara asked.

"Maybe it is time he lived up to his name." Cat suggested. "But for now, go get some sleep." When Kara didn't move she added. "That wasn't a suggestion."

When Kara had left the room Cat stood and saw Kara's phone lying on the couch. For a moment she looked at it before picking it up and sending a message.

-00-

"Ideally the block would fade naturally with time." J'onn said.

"During which time I don't remember a big chunk of my life?" Alex asked.

"Yes."

"I'm not waiting. I hate waiting. I need to know. I hate this feeling. I know something is missing." Alex said.

"The next best option is to reverse the block slowly, but I don't have that power and Raffa's skills have become faded." J'onn explained.

"Just do what you need to do." Alex said sounding impatient.

"Alex, I blocked a lot of your pain." Raffa clarified. "When the block is removed you will be hit by extreme sadness, fear and pain."

"I'm fine with that."

"Don't underestimate this Alex." J'onn warned as Raffa said.

"Those emotions stopped your desire to survive."

"You said I gave up after I heard that my sister had died?" Alex asked.

"Yes."

"But she isn't dead?"

"No." J'onn confirmed.

"And I know that now, so I won't feel the same things as before and even if I did, I know it's not true." Alex argued.

"The emotions will hit you so fast that you may not be able to apply logic." Raffa said. "It will be extremely draining on you, physically and emotionally and you are still not healed."

"It would be safer to fully heal from your wounds first." J'onn said causing Alex to look at her mother.

"Were we close? Kara and I?"

"Yes." Eliza said, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to help Alex along the wrong path.

"And you said she is struggling?" Alex asked looking again at the photos of her and Kara, frustrated she could not recall the other girl.

"Yes." Eliza confirmed.

"So she needs me back?"

"She needs you alive. If you do something that hurts you she won't forgive herself." Eliza replied.

"Can you fix this?" Alex asked looking from J'onn to Raffa.

"Yes. But it won't be easy for you." J'onn reiterated.

"What about for you two? Will you feel everything too?"

In response they both nodded.

"Will you be in danger?" Alex asked.

"No." J'onn said.

"I did this to you." Raffa said, "and I will do whatever you want to correct it."

"Will it take long?" Alex asked.

"Yes and no." Raffa said unhelpfully before explaining. "The process itself will only take seconds or maybe a minute or so, but to you it will feel much longer."

"Okay, let's do it then." Alex said.

"Are you sure?" J'onn asked.

"I may not know why, but I know that I need to remember." Alex said. "Please J'onn."

"Okay." J'onn agreed. "Sit down on the couch."

Nodding Alex sat down and waited.

"Are you sure about this?" J'onn asked one last time.

"I hate this feeling. I need to know what I don't know." Alex replied.

"Okay." He agreed as he sat on one side of her and Raffa on the other. J'onn then looked at Eliza who stood in the corner frowning in concern and said.

"She'll need you."

Not entirely sure what he meant Eliza stepped towards them and watched as both the telepaths placed their hands on Alex's head.

She then watched as anguish, pain and despair washed over Alex. Desperate to intervene but not wanting to endanger Alex she fought her instincts and held back, letting J'onn and Raffa do what they needed to do. Eliza watched for what felt like an eternity as Alex broke down, until finally J'onn and Raffa backed away and she rushed to Alex's side. Pulling her in or a hug she comforted and held her until finally Alex had cried herself to sleep.

"Is she okay?" Eliza asked as she cradled Alex's sleeping head in her lap.

"It was a draining experience. She needs to rest." J'onn said. "But she will be okay. I wouldn't have done it if I had any doubt. But we won't know if she has all her memories back until she wakes."

"And you two?" She asked.

"We just need rest." J'onn replied.


	15. Chapter 15

When Alex next woke up she felt nauseas. As she recalled the block being removed she couldn't help but focus on the memories of her hurting Kara and was overcome with guilt. But then she remembered hearing the news report and Supergirl dying and despite being told Kara was okay, she felt the panic rise. Ignored the sharp pain in her ribs she stoood and headed downstairs. As she approached the kitchen she heard the end of a news report on increasing crime rates since the death of Supergirl. The report only increasing her concern. As she entered the kitchen she saw J'onn, Raffa and her mother all sitting round the table talking.

"Where's Kara?" Alex asked fearing the worse.

"Alex. How are you feeling?" Eliza asked jumping up and hugging her.

"Where's Kara?" Alex repeated.

"Back in National City." J'onn replied. "I assume you remember everything?"

"Yes." Alex said before asking. "She survived the attack?"

"Yes." J'onn assured her.

"Then why does the world still think Supergirl is dead?" Alex asked knowing she wasn't being told something.

"She's lost her powers." J'onn explained.

"But I have been gone for weeks. They should have returned by now." Alex said.

"I know."

"Well why aren't they back?" Alex pressed.

"The short answer is we don't know. Maybe she doesn't want them." J'onn said. "She's been lost without you. She blames herself."

"Why isn't she here? She shouldn't be alone if she doesn't have powers." Alex said.

"We thought it was for the best." J'onn said. "We were afraid if we crowded her she would cut herself off completely."

"But she wasn't alone." Eliza said. "Her friends were helping her." When she saw J'onn wince she said. "Kara said she was meeting with Sam and Lena, was that a lie?"

"Yes. They tried, but she stopped responding to them."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't want to do anything that would cause her to cut herself from you. You were the only person she contacted."

"So she's been sitting by herself in her apartment for weeks?" Alex asked.

"She was working." Eliza said before looking at J'onn and guessing. "She wasn't working?"

"No."

"If she's not working how is she paying rent and affording food?" Alex asked.

"Lena." J'onn said. "She paid the rent on both Kara's and your apartment for the next year and has food sent over each week." He explained, not mentioning that a lot of the time the food remained outside the door.

"Kara doesn't do well alone. She shouldn't be alone. We need to get to her."

"That may be a little hard." J'onn said.

"I'm fine to travel." Alex said.

"That's not what I meant. We don't know where she is."

"What do you mean you don't know?" Eliza asked eyes wide. "How long has she been missing?"

"A couple of days." J'onn said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Eliza pressed.

"We had only just realised she was missing when you called me here. But the team is searching for her."

"She can barely walk. How can she disappear?" Eliza went on her anger and guilt flaring.

"We don't know."

"What about my place?" Alex asked. "Could she have gone there?"

"At one stage she did move in to your apartment but just over a week ago she left and went back to her place. Up until she disappeared she didn't leave."

"And no one went to check on her?" Alex asked angrily.

"She wouldn't let anyone in. But I did go round every day to check she was still in there. Only when I went round a couple of days ago she wasn't there."

"Where did she go?" Alex asked.

"We don't know. Her phone is off and she didn't leave a note. She isn't at your apartment and she's not with Lena, James or Sam."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Eliza asked.

"I didn't want to worry you. I was hoping we would have found her by now." J'onn said as Eliza searched for her phone.

"Damn it." She muttered noticing the battery had died. Finding her charger she plugged it in and waited for it to power up. When it finally connected to a network she went to her contacts' list and was about to call Kara when a text message came in.

"It's a text from Kara." Eliza said.

"Is she okay?" Alex asked. Seeing her mother frown she asked. "What's wrong?"

"The message, it's from Kara's number, but the sender says she is Cat Grant."

"What does she want?" J'onn asked.

"She has Kara. She says we need to get down there."

-00-

"You are looking remarkably healthy for a dead woman." Cat commented when she opened her front door and saw Alex. "I assume your reported death was not part of some sick joke."

"Where's Kara?" Alex asked ignoring Cat's question.

"Shower." Cat replied.

"How is she?" Eliza asked.

"Broken. Physically she doesn't eat and can barely walk."

"Her leg should have healed by now." Alex said.

"Her leg isn't the only thing that is broken." Cat said as J'onn looked at Raffa and noticed her holding her head.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"There is an overwhelming sense of darkness and despair."

"Assuming that it is not my reputation preceding me, that would be Kara." Cat said.

-00-

As Kara limped into Cat's lounge she found herself looking at Alex. Assuming it was another dream she took a step back.

"Kara." Alex said walking towards her

"I'm sorry." Kara said backing away. Her response confusing most of the occupants of the room.

"Kara, it's okay. I'm right here." Alex said.

"No. You're dead. I killed you." Kara said backing herself into the wall.

"Kara, you didn't kill me." Alex said stepping towards her.

"Yes I did. I'm so sorry. I never should have come into your life. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted you to feel that I was replacing you." Kara said waiting for the accusations to fly.

"Kara." Alex said unsure what her sister was talking about.

"Kara, listen to me." Cat sad stepping in front of her. "This isn't a dream or an hallucination. Alex is here, alive."

"No. She's dead." Kara said. "I killed her."

"Kara, she's here." Cat reiterated.

"No, this is all a dream." Kara argued as Raffa wobbled before leaving the room.

"Kara, this is real." Cat continued. "Your sister is alive and here. I know you think good things can't happen and you don't deserve this, but it is real. You need to face it." Seeing the doubt on Kara's face she asked. "Do you trust me?" When Kara nodded. "Then trust me when I say this is real, this isn't one of dreams. Alex is here, alive."

"Kara." Alex said stepping up to her.

"You're alive?" Kara asked doubtfully as Cat moved out of the way.

"I'm alive." Alex confirmed as she hugged her.

"How?" Kara asked clinging to Alex like she feared she would disappear.

"Long story, but I'm here now." Alex said wincing in pain at the ferocity of the hug.

"I gave up on you. I should have kept looking." Kara said as another wave of guilt rushed over her.

"How? You can barely stand." Alex said as she clung to Kara. "But I promise you I am going to figure out why."

-00-

"Thank you. For looking after her, for calling me." Eliza said to Cat as she watched her daughters.

"Regardless of everything else I am famous for, I'm still a mother. I can't imagine what you have been going through."

"How did I let this happen?" Eliza asked.

"She was trying to out on a brave face." Cat said. "She didn't want you to worry."

"That may be my fault." J'onn said. "I told her you'd need her help and support. I thought if she had a focus it would help."

"She blames herself for what happened. She feels she owes you a debt and it was her way of repaying it." Cat said.


	16. Chapter 16

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked as the final scan ran on Kara.

"Better now you're here." Kara said.

"Well you look like crap." Alex pointed out. "But I will figure this out. I'll review the results, then I'll be back."

"Do you have to go?" Kara asked, terrified she was still dreaming and once Alex was gone she wouldn't be back.

"I'll only be in my lab." Alex said squeezing her hand.

"I'm fine not having powers." Kara replied not wanting Alex to go.

"I'm not fine with it." Alex said. "I'll be back soon and in the mean time mom will be here." Seeing the fear in Kara's eyes she said. "I promise I'm not going anywhere other than my lab. I'll be back. Okay?"

"Okay." Kara said sounding uncertain.

Once she was gone Kara looked at Eliza and asked.

"Is this real?"

"It's real." Eliza said before sitting next to Kara on the bed and hugging her.

-00-

"Are you okay?" J'onn asked Raffa who stood outside the infirmary.

"She is in so much pain. I wish I could help, but after what I did to Alex I don't think I should risk it."

"I agree." J'onn said. "Kara is strong, she can come through this."

"It's not just Kara though. Eliza and Alex also. In fact this entire building is overwhelming me with emotions."

"They've had a hard time recently. But there is a spot in the basement that is shielded. Would you like me to take you there?" J'onn offered.

"As a prisoner?"

"No. Absolutely not." J'onn said.

-00-

As Alex walked towards her lab she was so busy reading results on her iPad that she missed the confusion, surprise and smiles as Agents walked past her. She was also oblivious to the fact there were other users of the corridor and as a result she didn't notice the figure rounding the corner until after the collision. The pain in her ribs and her concern for Kara resulted in her snapping.

"Watch where you're...Maggie?"

"Alex?" Maggie asked in disbelief. "How? You're dead? I mean we thought you were? Are you really here?"

"I'm here." Alex assured her.

"But...wait, have you told Kara?"

"Yes." Alex replied. "She's in the infirmary. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with her." Alex said.

"That's good." Maggie said sounding as awkward as Alex felt.

"I need to go look the scan results."

"Sure." Maggie said, still in shock. "I'll catch you later."

-00-

"How's it going?" J'onn asked entering Alex's lab a little later.

"Slowly. I am struggling to find any cause for her not healing." Alex replied sounding frustrated.

"Perhaps you should take a break?" He suggested noticing the pained expression on Alex's face.

"I've thought about it. But you never know who you'll bump into round here."

"You saw Maggie?" He guessed.

"I did."

"Sorry, I should have warned you." J'onn apologised. "She's helping us track down Cadmus."

"Why?" Alex asked turning to face him.

"Because they tried to kill you."

"I meant, why Maggie specifically?"

"She asked. She still cares about you."

"I know." Alex said sadly. "Anything else you should have told me?"

"Nothing that can't wait until Kara is better." J'onn said. "I'm serious Alex, make sure you rest. At the very least you need to see Hamilton. I'm assuming you've not had any real medical care recently?"

"Only what Raffa gave me. Speaking of Raffa, where is she?"

"Downstairs, she's finding it hard to block out everyone's emotions." J'onn said before suggesting again. "Why don't you go see Hamilton? You look like you are in pain."

"It's not too bad, but I will see her." Alex said as a new result popped up in her screen. "That's weird." She commented.

"What?" J'onn asked.

"Give me a minute, I need to change the contrast on the scan." She said focused on her screen. "There." Alex said looking at the scan.

"What?" J'onn asked not seeing anything.

"You see that speck in the bone?" Alex asked pointing to part of the screen.

"Yes."

"That's a foreign object. That should not be there." Alex said.

"What is it?"

"I don't know...yet. Let me just pull up the blood work and chemical analysis." She said before focusing on the job at hand. Knowing he couldn't do anything J'onn silently watched Alex work until she finally said.

"No."

"What?"

"There's a shard of Kryptonite in the bone. That's why she isn't healing. How did no one here spot this? How did Kara not know?" She asked angrily.

"Can you get it out?" J'onn asked ignoring the questions.

"Yes, but it looks like it has done a lot of damage to the bone. We need to pin the bone. Only we can't because her body will probably reject it...unless…...I have an idea but I need to look at something first." Alex said leaving the lab.

-00-

"Alex?" Eliza asked entering the room Alex had relocated to where she was reading papers.

"How is she?" Alex asked looking up.

"Sleeping. Which you should be too." Eliza said. "I know you want to help Kara, but you need to take care of yourself too."

"I will, but right now there isn't time to rest." Alex said.

"What do you mean?"

"She has Kryptonite in her." Alex picking up one of her tablets and showing Eliza a scan.

"How was this missed?" Eliza asked. "Why didn't she say anything?"

"All good questions." Alex said. "Ones we can worry about later." She added, but seeing the guilt on Eliza's face she said. "This isn't your fault."

"I'm her mother. I'm meant to look after her. I never should have gone back to Midvale." Eliza said.

"Kara was trying to protect you. She wouldn't have told you even if you had moved in with her." Alex said.

"Maybe. But I would have noticed. She's so frail, she's lost weight. She looks awful and you don't look that great either."

"I'm okay. A lot better than I was a month ago. But the same can't be said about Kara."

"Al-" Eliza started.

"Once Kara is better I'll stop working, even spend time in Midvale, but right now Kara needs help."

"What can we do?" Eliza asked conceding that Alex wouldn't rest until she was done.

"I think I know how to fix this, but I need to go talk to someone first." Alex said.

"Just see her before you go. She still doesn't believe you're back."

"I will." Alex said before finding herself pulled into her mother's arms.

"I still don't believe you're back."

"I'm real and I'm back." Alex assured her.


	17. Chapter 17

"Hey." Alex said as she squeezed Kara's hand as Kara started to wake up.

"You're really here?" Kara asked.

"I'm really here." Alex said. "And I know why you aren't healing."

"Why?" Kara asked

"You have a shard of Kryptonite embedded in your bone." Alex said. When she saw how surprised Kara looked she asked. "How did you not know? You must have felt awful."

"I did." Kara confessed.

"Then why not tell anyone?"

"I thought it was because I was missing you." Kara said.

"I was gone for weeks. Your leg, your shoulder, your ribs didn't heal. Surely you must have started thinking that it was to do something other than grief?" Alex said frustrated.

"I don't know. Maybe. But by then it didn't seem to matter. I didn't deserve to feel better." Kara said. Not really sure what to say Alex didn't speak for a while before saying.

"I have an idea for taking out the Kryptonite, but I need some help, so I am going to see Lena."

"Lena?" Kara asked.

"Yeah."

"I don't think she'll help."

"Why?" Alex asked confused.

"I may have told Lena I was Supergirl." Kara said.

"She didn't take it well?" Alex guessed.

"She said she already knew. Then I yelled at her."

"Well it sounds like I have missed a lot. When you are better you can fill me in on everything. But right now I need to get that Kryptonite out and I need Lena."

"You're coming back?" Kara asked, her voice pleading.

"Of course I am." Alex smiled.

-00-

"Are you okay?" J'onn asked approaching Raffa who sat in the empty room he had set her up in.

"There are so many emotions." Raffa said. "But they are not the problem, I am getting better at shielding those."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Once a link has been established we are more empathic with that person."

"So you pick up Alex's emotions more than others?" J'onn asked.

"Yes. And because I have been so sheltered, so out of practice, I have lost the ability to shield myself from that link. Her emotions have consumed me and almost feel like my own. I can feel the anger burn inside me. I have not felt anger this intense for a very long time."

"Would it help to meditate?" J'onn asked.

"I don't know. Normally distance and time fixes things."

"If there is anything I can do let me know." J'onn offered.

"Thank you."

"What do you plan to do now?" J'onn asked, assuming there was a reason why Raffa was still there.

"My clan were not happy with my decision to help Alex. They do not trust any human. When I took Alex home I was told that if I returned they would not be there."

"I'm sorry." J''onn said.

"I knew the consequences when I made my decision." Raffa replied.

"You are welcome to stay here as long as you want." J'onn said. "And if you were interested, we could use your talents here."

"Work with humans?" Raffa asked.

"It's not as bad as it sounds. At least think about it."

-00-

"I thought I said I didn't want to be disturbed." Lena said before looking up and seeing Alex. "Alex? You're alive? Does Kara know?"

"Yes." Alex said, answering all three questions with a single word.

"Is she okay? Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine. Kara isn't."

"She took your loss badly." Lena said. "Which is why I'm surprised you're here. She needs you."

"Unfortunately she needs more than that. There's a piece of Kryptonite embedded in her femur, which has stopped her healing."

"She's had Kryptonite in her all this time? How did she not know? Why didn't I see it?"

"Everyone missed it. Kara cutting herself off didn't help." Alex replied.

"We shouldn't have let her. If the situations had been reversed Kara would have moved in with me." Lena pointed out suddenly lost in her own thoughts.

"Well it's not to late to help and I can't help her by myself." Alex said.

"I'm not sure Kara would want my help. Our last meeting didn't go well. I don't want to make the situation worse."

"She didn't mean it." Alex said. "But she does think you hate her."

"And what do you think?"

"You wouldn't have paid the rent or bought her food every week if you hated her." Alex argued. "If I thought for a second you meant her harm I wouldn't be here. So will you help me?"

"What do you need?"

"I need a piece of precision machinery capable of making a screw."

"Pretty sure Home Depot would do." Lena pointed out.

"Not for this type of screw."

"What's special about this screw."

"It's made of bone."

"Bone?" Lena said confused.

"To remove the Kryptonite I am going to have to damage the femur. To repair it, it will need to be pinned. But if we use traditional pins or screws, it will always be a weak point for her. The metal will not be as strong as her bone, assuming she heals after we remove the Kryptonite. If she does heal we don't know how that metal pin will mesh with the bone, or if she won't heal due to it being there. Her body may even reject it."

"I'm still not sure I see the solution." Lena confessed.

"I am going to remove a small piece of bone from her hip. Best case scenario as soon as she is free from the Kryptonite it will heal right up, worse case is it won't, but the location I will remove it from shouldn't cause problems."

"Then you will turn the bone into a screw and use it to fix Kara's leg in the hope her body won't reject it and that the bone screw will completely fuse with her leg when her powers return." Lena concluded.

"Yes." Alex said. "I know it sounds crazy, but it's Kara's best chance."

"Alex, a few months ago we split Sam into two people...it doesn't sound that crazy."

"Can you make the bone screw?"

"There is a machine that could definitely make it, but it is too big to move to the DEO. There is a portable machine, but we would need to run some tests. Do you have any spare bones lying around?"

"So you will help me?" Alex asked.

-00-

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked walking into Kara's room.

"Alex? You're back?"

"I told you I would be." Alex smiled. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. You should get some rest. You've done enough for me already."

"I'm your big sister, it's my job to look after you. But I am resting, that's why I'm here. I thought I'd sit with you for a while." When Kara didn't say anything Alex asked. "Aren't you going to ask how it went with Lena?" Not giving a chance to answer. "She is setting up her equipment now."

"Lena is helping?" Kara asked.

"Of course she is." Alex said. "While she is doing that you need to decide if you want this surgery."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"It's dangerous, not been attempted before and may not work." Alex pointed you.

"You said it is my best chance. That's good enough for me." Kara said.

"Okay. Well once Lena is set up we'll get started. After I get the Kryptonite out and you have healed we are going to have a long talk. But for now get some rest."

"Do you have to go?" Kara asked.

"I can stay for a while."

-00-

"Ms Luthor." J'onn greeted.

"Director." Lena nodded.

"Thank you for helping, again."

"Kara's my friend." Lena shrugged. She then sighed and said. "And that's why I need to ask this. I hate to ask this, but are you sure Alex is Alex and the Alex you know?"

"You have reason to doubt it?" J'onn asked.

"Well, my mother was involved in what happened and she has ways of making bad situations worse."

"Whilst I agree with that assessment, I have been in Alex's head. She really is Alex."

"That's good." Lena smiled.


	18. Chapter 18

"How's it going?" J'onn asked as he joined Eliza in the waiting room the next day.

"They're into the third hour."

"It's a complicated surgery." J'onn reminded her.

"I know, and it's even more reason why Alex shouldn't be performing it."

"She wouldn't trust anyone else." J'onn reminded her. "And even if you had persuaded her to let someone else perform the surgery she would be in here pacing the entire time, rather than resting."

"I know, but I have only just got her back. I am so scared of losing her again."

"Alex knows her limits." J'onn said. Seeing the sceptical look Eliza was giving him he added. "Hamilton is in there watching her. She'll be okay." He assured her as he pulled her into a hug. "And she is not the only one pushing herself too hard. When was the last time you got a decent night's sleep?"

"It's been awhile." Eliza admitted. "When the surgery is over and they are both safe and resting, then I'll get some sleep."

-00-

"Okay, that's all the Kryptonite." Alex said as she dropped the last part in a lead box.

"That's it?" Lena asked looking at the green crumbs just before the lid was shut. "Hard to believe that small amount could do such damage."

"Perhaps you understand why she is so keen for it to be destroyed." Alex replied. Seeing the hurt, but angry look that crossed Lena's face she added. "That wasn't a criticism, just a statement of fact. She made us get rid of all the Kryptonite we have here too. Tactically it's the wrong choice, but I know why she wants us to. Especially with Cadmus being everywhere." Seeing Lena silently nod Alex added. "I'll irrigate, just to make sure, then we're ready for the screw."

"Ready when you are." Lena said before noticing that Alex was heavily sweating and asking. "Are you okay?"

"The red sun lamps are little hot for my liking." Alex said.

"Are you sure that's all it is?" Lena asked. "Because if you die saving her, she is lost anyway."

"I'm not dying." Alex assured her as she triple checked that Kara was free from Kryptonite.

"Even if you are not dying you look like you need to rest." Lena went on finding she was the only person in the room who was brave enough to be the voice of reason.

"I'll rest when we're done." Alex said putting down the tools and looking at Lena. "If you've done your job properly that will be soon."

"It's made to your specifications." Lena assured her as she handed her the screw.

Alex paused and looked at it before saying. "Nice work." With that she went back to Kara.

-00-

As Alex worked on Kara's leg, Lena watched Alex, expecting her to collapse at anytime.

When Alex stepped back from Kara, Lena thought it was because she was about to faint and jumped up, ready to help.

"What?" Alex asked noticing the movement.

"Nothing, just a spasm." Lena lied.

"The screw is in place." Alex said returning her focus to the operation. She then looked at one of the techs and said. "Turn off the red lamps and turn on the solar lamps."

"Yes ma'am." The tech said before doing as instructed. Once done Alex looked at Kara's leg wound and sighed.

"It's not healing. She still has no powers. I'll close her up the normal way."

-00-

"Lena?" Eliza asked when the youngest Luthor entered the room. "Has something happened?"

"I'm just here to let you know the operation is over. Kara is being moved back to the lamp room to recover. Alex is also fine, but needs to rest. She's with Kara now."

"Did it work?" J'onn asked.

"Alex's idea for a screw worked perfectly and the Kryptonite has been removed and the leg has been reset. However, she still doesn't have powers." Lena explained. "Anyway I should go. Hamilton will be in to get you when Kara is settled."

"Thank you, for everything." Eliza said before hugging the un-expecting Luthor.

"You're welcome." Lena replied before awkwardly extracting herself.

-00-

"Kara?" Eliza asked seeing Kara was starting to stir.

"Eliza?" Kara asked groggily as she started to open her eyes.

"Right here Sweetie. How are you feeling?" She asked squeezing Kara's hand.

Instead of answering Kara looked around for Alex. Starting to panic that she had dreamt her sister's return, she asked.

"Alex?"

"She's just over there sleeping." Eliza assured her.

"She's really back?" Kara asked straining to see her sleeping sister.

"She is." Eliza said squeezing her hand a little tighter. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." Kara said.

"Are you in pain?"

"Are you sure Alex is okay?" Kara asked ignoring Eliza's question.

"I promise you she is okay." Eliza said before Kara drifted off again.

-00-

"How is she?" Alex asked when she woke a little later.

"Alex? You're awake? How are you?" Eliza asked looking over to her eldest. Seeing Alex wince and grab her side as she stood she asked. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's just my ribs. They got stiff during the surgery, then I slept awkwardly." Alex explained as she walked towards her sister and repeated her earlier question.

"How's Kara?"

"She woke awhile ago. Panicked that you weren't really back and then fell to sleep." Eliza said as Alex exposed Kara's leg and saw the incision was still there.

"Still no powers. What if they don't come back?"

"She'll survive. Her powers don't define her." Eliza said.

"They kind of do. She has lost so much, losing her powers forever, will she come back from that?" Alex asked as she checked Kara's temperature, relieved to find she wasn't feverish.

"The last few weeks have shown us there is only one thing Kara needs, that's you." Eliza said reaching over and taking Alex's hand. "We both do. Whatever happens with Kara we will help her together."


	19. Chapter 19

"Alex?" Kara asked as she woke up.

"Hey." Alex smiled.

"You're really here?" Kara asked.

"You going to ask that every time you see me?" Alex countered.

"I thought that you were dead. That I'd killed you."

"Kara, I pushed you off the ledge not the other way round. What happened was not your fault." Alex reminded her.

"But it was. You said so yourself on the mission." Kara said confusing Alex. "You said I always got distracted when I was meant to be listening out for Eliza."

"Something you admitted was deliberate." Alex said. "Don't think I've forgotten that. When you are better we are so talking about that."

"I'm being serious. I should have heard them. I should have protected you."

"It's my job to protect you." Alex said resolutely. "Also we were attacked by a sniper, even with your hearing unless you knew they were there, there was no way to pick them out." She then paused before saying. "I know you had some weird guilt and Kryptonite induced dreams, but what happened was not you fault." She waited for her words to sink in before asking. "How are you feeling?"

For a moment Kara didn't answer as she considered the question. Finally she said. "Not sick."

"Hopefully that is because all of the Kryptonite is gone. I still can't believe you didn't tell anyone how sick you were."

"I didn't think I was sick. I just thought I was sad and in pain."

"From now on you tell me about everything that isn't right." Alex ordered before asking. "How is the pain? And don't lie."

"It sucks." Kara confessed. "How are your ribs?"

"Unlike you I have spent the last few weeks healing so they're okay."

"Liar."

"Can I get you anything?" Alex asked, ignoring the accusation.

"A hug?" Kara asked.

"I meant food." Alex said before gently and awkwardly, due to the injuries the pair had, hugged Kara.

"A hug is all I need." Kara said before suddenly pulling away.

"What's wrong?" Alex asked concerned.

"Where's Eliza?"

"J'onn took her to your apartment so she could get some sleep."

"I'm sorry I didn't look after her better."

"When you are fully healed and have your powers back we can go through your long list of apologies. Right now focus on getting better."

"Alex?" Kara said as tiredness washed over her again.

"Yeah."

"I'm sorry." Kara said before she drifted off.

-00-

"Where are we with the Cadmus and Jeremiah investigation?" J'onn asked.

"No further forward than last week." Brainy said. "Every time we identify a base, by the time we reach it, it has been destroyed. My hypothesis is that every time Jeremiah Danvers, or another suspect we have not identified yet, attacks a facility, they access their database and extract more information, which is how he, or they are ahead of us."

"Unfortunately if we have figured it out Cadmus can't be far off coming to the same conclusion." Maggie said.

"Meaning they'll set a trap." J'onn concluded.

"One he'll probably walk straight into." Maggie said. "Do you think we can let him know Alex is alive? I mean it might stop him walking straight into a trap."

"We have no way to contact him. Even if we could it might place Alex in the firing line." J'onn said before turning to Brainy and asking. "Can't you get any information from the bases?"

"The electronics were very badly damaged in the fires. I have tried to extract information, but it will take time."

"That is something we are running out of." J'onn said.

"Does Alex know about any of this?" Maggie asked.

"No, she's been focused on Kara." J'onn replied. "But I'll tell her soon."

-00-

"How is she?" J'onn asked when he entered Alex's lab where Alex was reviewing the latest scan results.

"Physically she's starting to show signs of recovery." Alex said. "I mean she still doesn't have powers but she is healing at a human rate."

"You don't sound very happy." J'onn pointed out.

"I'm just worried." Alex said. "I thought her powers would be back by now."

"Any theories on why they aren't?"

"To over come a solar flare she needs an adrenaline rush, something she hasn't had for awhile. Or deep down she doesn't want them back. Or long term exposure to Kryptonite has caused major damage."

"We'll figure it out." J'onn said. "But I'm also worried about you."

"Why?"

"Ignoring your injuries, you're angry." Seeing Alex's confused look he said. "I spoke to Raffa. She still senses all your emotions. She is finding it overpowering. She said you are angry."

"I am."

"About what?"

"Angry at Cadmus for going out to kill Kara, angry at everybody here for not figuring out there was something wrong with Kara and angry at myself. If I had been paying more attention to my surroundings I wouldn't have been shot. If I hadn't been shot, Kara wouldn't have been shot."

"I've read the mission report, you did it by the book." J'onn said.

"Then the book is wrong. Besides I haven't even written my report yet." Alex pointed out.

"Kara wrote hers."

"She's biased."

"So are you." J'onn countered.

"I'm worried about her. I've never seen her so fragile. I don't know how to help her." Alex sighed.

"You can't. Not alone anyway." J'onn said.

"Sometimes it's easy to forget that underneath the powers and the uniform, she is still the scared girl from Krypton who lost everything." Eliza said joining them. "Kara does such a good job of pretending to be okay, it's easy to forget how much she has been through."

"So what do we do?" Alex asked.

"I don't know." Eliza confessed. "But we'll figure it out together. Right now though she needs to spend time with you."

"Before you go there's something you both need to know." J'onn said.

"What?" Alex asked.

"We think Jeremiah might be back."


	20. Chapter 20

"Hey you." Alex smiled as Kara opened her eyes.

"Alex?" Kara asked still doubting her sister was there.

"I'm right here. How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess." Kara replied. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Alex assured her.

"You sure? You look..."

"What?"

"I don't know. Concerned. Please don't worry about me."

"I'm okay." Alex promised her. "Besides someone has to worry about you as you are clearly incapable of looking after yourself."

"You both are. You should both be resting." J'onn said approaching with Brainy.

"Hello Kara." Brainy greeted.

"Hey." Kara replied.

"I'm sorry." Brainy said. "I should have seen the Kryptonite."

"I only saw it because I ran a non-standard scan." Alex said, surprising everyone in the room with her measured response.

"I should not have been constrained by your protocols. I am a twelfth level intellect, yet acted like a third level. I am truly sorry."

"Kara could have and should have been more honest about her symptoms." Alex said giving Kara a pointed look. "The important thing is we all learn from this and ensure it doesn't happen again." She then squeezed Kara's hand and added. "I'm going to check the latest scan results, I promise I'll be back soon."

Having left the infirmary she found J'onn walking along side her.

"That was a very measured response." He said.

"The team needs stability right now. Expressing my true feelings won't help the team."

"I'm proud of you." J'onn said.

"Well I had a good mentor." Alex smiled. "When are you leaving?"

"You want your desk back?"

"No. It's all yours if you want it. But you left for a reason, that reason still exists."

"Right now I have a stronger reason to be here. I'm here as long as you need."

"Thank you." Alex said.

"There is a condition though." J'onn said.

"I do my own paperwork?" Alex guessed.

"Yes, but not what I meant. As soon as Kara is able I want you two to spend sometime in Midvale, your mother needs time with you."

"I know." Alex said. "And I have already promised her a visit."

"Good." J'onn smiled.

"Where's Raffa?" Alex asked.

"In the basement. She is still trying to shield herself from your emotions. I'm helping her as much as I can, but it will take time."

"So I should keep keeping my distance?" Alex guessed.

"She'd appreciate that." J'onn agreed. "Don't worry, I'm keeping an eye on her."

-00-

"J'onn." Raffa greeted when she saw him approach.

"Raffa, how are you doing?"

"Okay, the meditation techniques are working well."

"I'm glad." J'onn replied. "And the link with Alex?"

"Still strong."

"Is it a two way link?" J'onn asked.

"How do you mean?"

"You feel Alex's emotions, could you somehow be feeding your emotions back into Alex?"

"I'm sorry." Raffa said lowering her head. "It is not intentional. To block the link takes so much energy, sometimes it is possible that I may have unwittingly allowed Alex to experience my emotions."

"It's okay." J'onn sad. "In fact, right now it is what Alex needs."

"What do you mean?"

"You seem to have a calming influence on her, it is stopping her making rash decisions."

"I can not control Alex's actions." Raffa said.

"I know, but the emotional leak is helping." J'onn said before leaving.

-00-

"Still no powers?" Alex guessed when she entered the infirmary and saw Kara limping back to her bed.

"No."

"Well the good news is you are healing. Your body hasn't rejected the screw, so even if your powers don't come back for a while your leg should get back to normal as long as you rest and do your exercises. How's the pain?"

"Okay."

"Any sickness?"

"No."

"In that case, so as long as there are no set backs, how do you feel about going home tomorrow?"

"Home?" Kara asked.

"Unless you want to stay in the infirmary."

"No." Kara said.

"Seeing you have proven you can't look after yourself when you don't have powers, you are staying with me. Then when I think you are up for it we are going to Midvale for awhile."

"No." Kara said.

"It's not negotiable." Alex replied, surprised by Kara's response. "Besides mom needs this."

"You need to spend time with Eliza, not me." Kara argued.

"I need to spend time with both of you and mom needs to spend time with both of us. So we are all going to Midvale together as a family." Alex said. "Now get some rest before I change my mind about letting you out of here. I just need to check your blood work then I'll be back."

As Alex went to leave tiredness caught up with her and a wave of dizziness hit causing her to stumble then fall. Without thinking Kara leapt from her bed and caught her sister just before she hit the floor.

"What's wrong?" Kara asked on the verge of panic as she cradled Alex in her arms.

"Your powers." Alex said, focusing on Kara who was suddenly healed.

"Don't change the subject. What's wrong?" Kara asked.

"What's going on?" Eliza asked as she entered the infirmary with J'onn and Hamilton and saw Kara holding Alex just off the ground.

"Alex collapsed." Kara said.

"I didn't co-" Alex started to argue as Hamilton approached.

"Okay, you need a proper examination. No more excuses." She said to Alex.

Feeling Kara was about to lift her up Alex said. "I am capable of walking." Her tone making Kara think twice before eventually helping Alex to her feet.

"I'm fine." Alex repeated.

"I'll be the judge of that. Go next door for an examination." Hamilton said before looking at Kara. "And you should be in bed. I'll let you know when we are done. No listening in."

As Hamilton led Alex away Eliza approached Kara and hugged her before saying.

"She'll be okay."

"You don't know that."

"I know she skipped lunch and hasn't slept properly for a few days. That on top of the fact she has broken ribs and a gunshot wound, suggests she just needs rest." J'onn said.

"How are you feeling?" Eliza asked trying to focus herself and Kara on something other than concern for Alex.

"I'm fine. All healed, thanks to Alex, who once again is paying the price."

"No one forced Alex to skip lunch." J'onn reminded her.

Turning to Eliza she said. "I'm a curse. I'm so sorry for everything."

"You're not a curse." Eliza said hugging her tightly.

-00-

"How is she?" Kara asked when Hamilton entered the room thirty minutes later.

"Assuming she learns how to eat three meals a day she'll be fine. You can take her home." Hamilton smiled holding the door open for Eliza and Kara who hurried to see Alex.

"I'm fi-" Alex started to say, only to find herself being engulfed in hugs from Eliza and Kara.

"Guys...broken ribs." Alex said as the pain built.

"Sorry." Kara said taking a few steps back.

"I didn't say no hug." Alex offered tugging at Kara's hand. "But you should be under the lamps."

"I'm fine. You fixed me, just like you said you would."

"Having your powers back is not the same as being fixed." Alex reminded her.

"What happened?" Eliza asked Alex.

"I shouldn't have skipped lunch."

"You promised you'd take care of yourself." Eliza reminded her.

"Sorry." Alex said, knowing better than to argue.


	21. Chapter 21

"Kara?" Lena greeted in surprise when Jess showed her into her office. Once Jess had shut the door Lena looked at Kara and said. "It worked?"

"Um, yes. All back to normal." Kara said awkwardly, wondering if the visit had been a mistake.

"That's fantastic." Lena smiled before confessing. "I wasn't expecting to see you."

"Do you want me to go?" Kara asked.

"Of course not. Please sit down." Lena said directing Kara to the couch. When Kara sat but didn't speak she asked. "How are you feeling?"

"Better, thanks...that's kinda why I'm here. I wanted to thank you for helping Alex. I also wanted to apologise."

"For what?"

"How I treated you when you came round, for lying to you, fo-"

"Kara, you were in pain. And it is not like I haven't thrown major pity parties before." Lena shrugged. "What I don't get is why are you here rather than with Alex?"

"Eliza needs time with Alex."

"Eliza needs time with both of you." Lena countered.

"I think it's best if that didn't happen. It's time I released them." Kara said, her voice sound distant, almost like she was speaking to herself rather than Lena.

"Released them?" Lena asked concerned.

"I want them to be safe. Having me in their lives doesn't allow that." Kara replied looking at the CEO.

"Kara, your sister is in charge of the DEO. She will place herself in danger regardless of if you are there to save her."

"She only joined the DEO to protect me." Kara said. "If I wasn't in her life she could have a medical career."

"Although I have no doubt Alex would excel in any career she truly wanted, she won't give up the DEO. Especially if you disappeared, she'd use the DEO as a way to find you." Lena said before falling silent, hoping Kara would take heed. Eventually Kara said.

"It feels like the Universe is punishing me and everyone I love."

"If the Universe feels you are worthy of punishment then the rest of us are screwed." Lena pointed out. "You literary save the world." When Kara didn't respond Lena asked. "How come Supergirl isn't flying round out there?"

"Supergirl was meant to be a beacon of hope and justice. But she was just a lie. What type of person lies to her best friend?"

"Someone who wants to protect their family." Lena said. "I don't care about secrets...especially when I already know them. I care about trust. You can keep secrets and still trust someone. Not everything is black and white."

"It should be." Kara argued. "Supergirl was meant to be a clear message, not shades of grey."

"Have you looked out there recently?" Lena asked pointing at a window. "I may not have agreed with all of your methods as Supergirl, but even I can't deny that this city needs her."

"And you?" Kara asked.

"I miss my friend."

"I lied to you." Kara pointed out.

"And I didn't lie to you?" Lena countered. "You, me, Alex, we do what we have to. The difference with you though is you always assume there is a good outcome. I wish I could have that optimism, but I don't. However, maybe by working with you I can get a little more optimistic. We have things to work through, but we can do that. Right now you need to focus on your family. I'm not going anywhere. When you are ready we can work through things. But for now go home, be with Alex and Eliza."

-00-

"Kara!" Eliza greeted, pulling her into a hug. "Where have you been?"

"Is this a bad time? I can go." Kara offered.

"Of course it's not a bad time." Eliza said before finally releasing her hold on her. Carefully looking at Kara Eliza decided Alex was the best person to talk to her and said. "I was about to go out and buy some ice cream and pizza. I'll be back soon." With that she left the apartment.

"Where have you been?" Alex asked as she patted the couch next to her.

"I went to see Lena." Kara said sitting next to Alex.

"And?" Alex probed.

"I don't know. She seemed okay, but I lied to her. Can we ever get past that?"

"I'm pretty sure Lena already has." Alex commented before asking. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"You ready to talk about what happened?"

"You nearly died trying to save me." Kara summarised.

"I meant after that." Alex said.

"There's not much to say." Kara replied, clearly not wanting to talk.

"Why didn't you go to Argo City?" Alex asked.

"J'onn said Eliza needed me. I couldn't leave her."

"Yet you locked yourself away and didn't see her." Alex pointed out.

"I talked to her every week." Kara argued.

"You mean you lied to her every week." Alex countered. "You were miserable, you felt you had nothing here, so why didn't you go back to Argo, to your mother?"

"I couldn't. If I went back my mother would have worried. She would have been disappointed in me. Besides it's not like I belonged. I have lived on Earth for too long and they...they have lived for thirty years with out me. We have spent so long apart we aren't connected like we used to be. I thought when I went to Argo City the connection would grow again, but it didn't, if anything the distance grew with every minute I spent there. When I went back in time I came to a realisation that I actually felt closer to Astra just before….you know, than I did to my mother in Argo City."

"I'm sorry." Alex said.

"It's okay. Because I had another realisation."

"Time travel sounds heavy." Alex said.

"I'm serious." Kara said. "I realised that although I will always miss Krypton and I will never feel human, this is my home and you are my family."

"Good, because no matter what you feel, what you think, you will always have a home here on Earth." Alex said. "And you will always be my sister." They then sat silently before Alex asked. "Why did you give up?"

For a while Kara did't answer and Alex was starting to assume she wouldn't. Then finally Kara said.

"I'd killed you. I couldn't go on."

"You are better than that. You have survived so much."

"But I didn't do it alone. I always had you, even when I pushed you away, deep down I knew you would always be there for me."

"I will." Alex said. "But so will mom and J'onn and Lena. Even Cat dropped everything to help you. You help so many people everyday and I don't mean as Supergirl. Everyone whose life you have touched wants to help you. Don't shut us out."

This time Kara didn't respond or show any signs of responding so Alex changed subjects and asked.

"Seeing you have your powers back, when is Supergirl returning?"

"Becoming Supergirl was a mistake. It has brought nothing but trouble for you and Eliza."

"Do you remember why you became Supergirl?" Alex asked. "To save me. If you hadn't I would have died years ago. If you don't want to be Supergirl that's fine. But don't not be Supergirl because you are afraid." Alex said pulling Kara in for a hug. "But you don't have to make any decisions today." She added moments before there was there was a knock on the door.

"It's Sam and Ruby." Kara said using her x-ray vision before trying to find her glasses. Having put them on she moved to the door as Alex got to her feet.

"Hey." Kara greeted as she opened the door.

"Hi Kara, sorry to disturb you," Sam started to say before Ruby barged her way into the apartment.

"Alex!" Ruby said before nearly tackling her to the ground.

"Rubes!" Sam chastised.

"Hey kiddo." Alex said returning the hug tying not to grimace at the pain in her ribs.

When Ruby just clung to her she looked over to Sam who smiled and said. "Welcome back."

"Thanks." Alex said.

"Where have you been? What happened? Why didn't you call?" Ruby asked finally pulling away from Alex.

"Ruby, don't interrogate her." Sam said.

"Sorry." Ruby apologised.

"That's okay." Alex said. "And it's kind of a long story. I'm going to spend some time with my mom in Midvale, but when I'm back how about we catch up properly?"

"Really? You promise?" Ruby asked.

"I promise." Alex smiled.

"Rubes why don't you give Alex the reason we came over?" Sam suggested not wanting to intrude.

"Oh right. I've been looking after this for you." Ruby said handing Alex her watch.

"Where did you get this?" Alex asked completely confused.

"Kara and Eliza." Ruby said causing Alex to turn to Kara.

"J'onn found it in the debris." Kara said, her voice cracking slightly at the memory.

"I thought it was gone forever." Alex said running her thumb along the face before looking down at Ruby. "Thank you."

"We should leave you to it." Sam said putting her arm around Ruby. "It really is good seeing you again."

"Thanks." Alex said.

"Come on." Sam said trying to usher Ruby to the door. However, Ruby held her ground and asked.

"If you're alive does that mean Supergirl is too?"

"There's always a chance." Alex said glancing over to Kara as the door opened.

"Hi." Eliza greeted.

"Hi." Sam said once again trying to direct Ruby to the door. "And bye." Having finally got Ruby to move she looked once more at Alex and said. "See you when you get back."


	22. Chapter 22

"Why does this look nothing like that?" Kara asked herself looking at the cake she had attempted to make and the cake on the TV.

"Because you made it?" Alex suggested as she walked into the kitchen.

"Hey." Kara said throwing a tea towel at Alex.

"Why are you baking?...if you can call it that." Alex asked looking at Kara's failed attempt.

"It's meant to be therapeutic."

"You're grief baking? When did you move onto grief baking?" Alex asked.

"When Snapper fired me."

"That was nearly two years ago. How did I not know?"

"Because I have never made anything that would not cause harm to humans."

"But you still try." Alex pointed out.

"Starting to believe practice doesn't make perfect." Kara sighed as she threw the cake in the bin.

"You used to paint, which was far less dangerous to the rest of us." Alex reminded her.

"Yeah." Kara said.

"Any reason you stopped painting?" Alex asked.

"When I first got here, painting allowed me to remember Krypton. I could paint scenes from home and feel connected to everything I had lost. But now, I don't know, maybe I don't want to be connected to Krypton."

"You could paint scenes from National City." Alex pointed out before saying. "Smoke."

"What?" Kara asked confused.

"The oven is smoking."

"My brownies." Kara said opening the oven door letting even more smoke escape. Not needing a glove she grabbed the tray from inside the oven and removed the charcoal like brownies.

"Mom is going to kill you for ruining her oven." Alex said.

"Me? You're meant to be the one babysitting me." Kara pointed out as she threw the brownies in the bin.

"No, I'm meant to be resting. I didn't even know you were baking." Alex countered not hearing the front door open. "Although the smell should have given it away. You are worse than I am in the kitchen."

"What is going on in here?" Eliza asked walking into the kitchen.

"Mom, you're back early." Alex greeted as Kara used her powers to inhale the smoke before blowing it outside.

"Clearly not early enough." Eliza said.

"Before you blame me, I was upstairs sleeping, like you told me to." Alex said. In response Eliza turned to Kara who meekly said.

"I tried to bake some cakes. I'm going to go and replace all the ingredients I wasted. See you later."

-00-

"Here you go." Eliza said handing Kara a mug of hot chocolate as she joined Kara on the porch that evening.

"You don't need to sit with me." Kara said.

"I know." Eliza said sitting next to Kara and wrapping an arm round her. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Kara asked confused.

"You are a terrible liar, which as a parent I am eternally grateful for. But I should have known that you were struggling."

"I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to worry about me."

"Kara, it's my job to worry about you and look after you. Not the other way round." Eliza reminded her.

"You had enough to worry about." Kara said.

"I will always worry about you."

"You shouldn't. You have done so much for me."

"Family isn't about owing a debt of gratitude." Eliza reminded her. "It's about being there for each other no matter what. And whenever you are ready, I'm here."

"I know. But I don't want to talk." Kara replied.

"What do you want?" Eliza questioned.

"A hug?" Kara asked. The request causing Eliza to hold her tighter. Eventually Kara said. "I'm sorry I let you down."

"You didn't let me down." Eliza said.

"Yes I did. I didn't protect Alex, I wasn't there for you. I failed you."

"You didn't and you have never failed me. I just wish that you wouldn't always shut down when you are in pain. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to keep losing people you love, but no matter who you lose there will always be people around who want to help. Don't separate yourself from them and don't live in fear. I wish I could protect you and Alex more. Shelter you from the pain, but I can't. It is part of life. But no matter what happens just remember you will never be alone. There are so many people out there who love you. Even the mighty Cat Grant dropped everything to help you." She let her words sink in before her voice turned sterner and she said. "But Kara, I need you to promise me that you will never shut yourself off again and you'll never lie to me again. I know you thought you were helping but all you did was make yourself sicker. If you had been honest from the start we could have got the Kryptonite out and made you better so much quicker. I can't help but think that if Alex hadn't turned up you would have isolated yourself until it was too late and I would have lost you too." She finished, her voice cracking slightly.

"I'm sorry." Kara replied.

"I know." Eliza said squeezing her tighter. "And I'm sorry too."

"For what?" Kara asked confused.

"For somehow making you not feel part of this family. That was never my intention."

"You've always made me feel part of the family." Kara said confused.

"I can't have. Other wise you wouldn't shut yourself off and feel like you owe me some kind of debt." Eliza pointed out.

"I just want to thank you for everything." Kara explained.

"I know. But you don't have to." Eliza replied. "But, there is something you could do."

"Anything." Kara agreed enthusiastically.

"Stay away from my oven." Eliza smiled.


	23. Chapter 23

"Morning." Alex said as she entered the kitchen the next morning.

"Hello Sweetie." Eliza said hugging her. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"You can't be that fine, you are not complaining about being fussed over." Eliza countered.

"Well I'm still feeling guilty."

"There is plenty of that going round. But you have nothing to feel guilty about."

"Have you seen Kara?" Alex asked.

"That's not on you." Eliza assured her before asking. "Where is she?"

"She is actually sleeping." Alex said.

"Really?" Eliza asked surprised.

"Your talk last night must have helped."

"You were awake?" Eliza asked.

"I was."

"Why didn't you join us?"

"Kara seemed to be listening to you. Plus it was after ten and you get upset if I stay up late."

"I'm just worried about you." Eliza said pausing before trying to add. "I thoug...I-"

"I'm okay." Alex said hugging her.

"I know I don't say it often enough, but I really am proud of you." Eliza said.

"I know." Alex assured her.

When Alex finally broke the hug she sensed Eliza had something else on her mind and asked.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"It's something." Alex countered.

"What's going to happen about your father?"

"I don't know. If the DEO catches him he goes to jail, if Cadmus catches him he probably ends up dead." Alex replied.

"Let me rephrase. What are you going to do about your father?"

"Honestly, I don't know." Alex sighed.

"I know how much you want him back, but please don't do anything that puts you in danger. I can't lose you again."

"Jeremiah's back?" Kara asked from the far side of the kitchen.

"Kara." Eliza greeted before hugging her.

"How long has he been back?" Kara asked pulling out if the hug, wondering why she hadn't been told.

"When everyone thought I was dead someone started targeting Cadmus bases. J'onn thinks it's dad." Alex said.

"Why did no one tell me?" Kara asked sounding hurt.

"You shut yourself off from everyone." Alex said bluntly. For a moment Kara mulled over the statement before asking.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing. Dad is out there fighting Cadmus. If he's doing that he's capable of contacting us. But he hasn't. That means he doesn't want to be found. If I don't accept that and I search and find him I could put him in danger." Alex said. "So I need you to promise you won't do anything." Alex said not wanting Kara to fly straight into danger.

"Okay." Kara agreed.

"I should get going to work. I won't be back late. But make sure you rest." Eliza said hugging both daughters goodbye.

"We will. And I'll keep Kara out of the kitchen." Alex assured her.

-00-

"You still mad at me?" Alex asked sitting next to Kara on the beach.

"I'm not mad at you."

"Yeah you are." Alex said. "And I get that. I was mad at J'onn when he told me about dad."

"I understand why you didn't tell me and I have no right to complain, I mean he's your dad." Kara said.

"Our dad." Alex corrected quickly. "J'onn didn't tell you because you had shut yourself off. Once I found out I didn't tell you because I was worried about you. I wanted you to focus on getting better."

"I get it, I'm weak."

"No. Never think that. You're not weak. You are so strong. You have endured to much but somehow you always, with time, come out with hope in tact." Alex said. When Kara didn't respond Alex asked. "Did anyone tell you what happened to me after I pushed you from the ledge?"

"Just that you fell into an underground tunnel and were washed away before being saved by Raffa."

"Did they tell you what happened after that?"

"You came home."

"Well in between quite a lot happened." Alex said. "I was is really bad shape when she found me. Broken ribs, hypothermia, open gun shot wound, blood loss, concussion. I was out for days, hovering between life and death. Eventually I woke up and I was scared. Not because I didn't know where I was, not because I was in pain and surrounded by strangers, but because I didn't know what had happened to you. I knew I had to fight so I could get back to you. So I did. I was willing myself better. Only one day I heard part of a news report that announced that Supergirl was dead. I thought you had died, that I had failed to save you and I gave up. I gave up so fast Raffa was convinced I would die. So she tried to help me. The only way she could save me was to make me forget."

"Forget what?"

"You. She wanted to block my memory of hearing you had died, but over did it a little and removed, well blocked all my memories of you you. J'onn helped unblock my memories." Alex said. "But for a couple of weeks I lived with no memory of you. It was like you had never come into my life and let me tell you those two weeks sucked. I knew I was missing something really important. When J'onn unblocked the memories, everything hit me in a few seconds. I remembered all the bad things I did to you and all the times you were there for me and mom. I think I realised then more than ever how much you have done for this family. You have given so much to me and mom."

"And I cost you your dad and your medical career." Kara pointed out.

"Cadmus cost me dad." Alex countered. "And I have way more fun shooting things with the DEO than I would have had stuck in a hospital."

"But-" Kara started only for Alex to cut her off.

"I also remembered how mean I was to you after you arrived, when you needed me the most, and how I skipped out in your birthday and-"

"I don't blame you for any of that." Kara jumped in.

"You should." Alex said before saying. "So we can either spend the next week apologising to each other for everything, which would stop me resting and make mom mad. Or we can both agree there is nothing to apologise for and have some fun."

"You're not surfing." Kara said.

"I meant watch some movies and eat too much ice cream." Alex pointed out. "I hear I need to educate you on the correct order of Star Wars."

-00-

"Why aren't you sleeping?" Alex whispered to Kara later that evening.

"She's not sleeping." Kara replied.

"Who isn't?" Alex asked confused

"Eliza. And I don't just mean tonight. It's been every night."

"Why didn't you say something?" Alex asked sitting up.

"I didn't want to worry you and I thought once she was convinced you were okay, she'd be okay." Kara said. "But she isn't."

"Come on." Alex said standing and reaching for Kara's hand before leading her to Eliza's bedroom.

As they reached Eliza's door Alex called for her mother but got no response. Pushing the door open she saw her mother sitting on the bed reading a book whilst wearing headphones.

"Mom." Alex called louder. This time Eliza looked up.

"Alex? Kara? What's wrong?" She asked taking the headphones off.

"You tell us." Alex said as she led Kara to one side of the bed and pushed her down so she was sitting next to Eliza.

"What do you mean?" Eliza asked confused as Alex moved to the far side of the bed and sat down next to her mother.

"You've not been sleeping." Alex said before reminding her. "Kara hears everything."

"I'm fine." Eliza said. "You don't need to worry about me."

"Yes we do." Alex said taking one of her mother's hands. "It's what family does."

"It is." Eliza said. "But I'm still your mother and you don't need to worry."

"You can't play the mom card on this." Alex said.

"I can." Eliza countered her tone stern. She then wrapped an arm round either daughter and said. "I'll be fine. Having you here is more than enough." She then kissed each of them on the head before asking. "How come you are both awake?"

"Same reason as you." Kara guessed.

"Well seeing none of us are sleeping, why don't we have a movie night?"


	24. Chapter 24

"Welcome back." Lena said approaching Kara's desk.

"Lena, hi." Kara greeted looking up.

"How was Midvale?"

"Good. We talked, a lot."

"So no more talk about them not needing you? And you running away?" Lena probed.

"No. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention that to Alex."

"On one condition."

"What?"

"Lunch." Lena stated.

"With you?"

"Um, yes." Lena replied.

"When?"

"Now."

"Now? But it's my first day back."

"And you are still entitled to a lunch break." Lena said. "And before you think of another excuse, I'm playing the boss card."

-00-

"Alex, welcome back." J'onn said hugging her.

"Thanks."

"How are things?"

"Kara is still a mess, but is trying to pretend she isn't. And mom is admitting she could be better, but not sharing."

"And you?"

"Almost fully healed. Healed enough to come back to light duties."

"That wasn't exactly what I meant." J'onn said.

"I know." Alex shrugged.

"Seeing you are back we should probably discuss something." J'onn said when it was obvious Alex wasn't going to say anything else.

"Dad?" Alex guessed.

"We have no evidence he was behind the attacks."

"But you still believe it was him?"

"Yes."

"Are they still going on?"

"There have been none in the last four days." J'onn said. "That maybe because there are no more targets or we just haven't found the attack sites. Or it maybe he's heard you're okay."

"Or it may be because Cadmus captured him." Alex added.

"It's a possibility." J'onn agreed. "If your father was behind the attacks and Cadmus don't have him, then Lillian will want revenge on a target she can get to."

"Me?" Alex guessed.

"I know you are not going to go into hiding, but just be careful. And if you want me to stay and help I will."

"I'll be fine. You gave me a good team. Besides you have destiny to fulfill."

"I wouldn't put it quite like that." J'onn smiled.

"I would." Alex said. "Seriously, we have this."

-00-

"So how are you really doing? And I mean the unedited version where you are not trying to protect Alex or Eliza." Lena asked as she sat with Kara in the park.

"I'm fi-" Kara started before cutting herself off. "I don't know."

"Well that's an honest answer." Lena said. "And I take it you haven't told Alex yet that you are not okay?"

"No. I don't want to hide things from her, but she needs time for herself. And she already thinks I'm not ready, I don't want to confirm it. Especially now."

"Why now?" Lena probed.

"What do you know about Alex's dad?"

"Only what you've told me, which he was presumed dead but was actually working for my mother, then he stood up to her and went missing."

"Yeah."

"Does this have something to do with the attack on Cadmus bases?" Lena asked.

"How do you know about those?" Kara asked surprised.

"Maggie kind of accused me of being responsible. Which I wasn't, but only because I didn't know where they were." Lena explained before guessing. "You think Jeremiah was the one responsible?"

"J'onn does. But they hid it from me. I only found that out a few days ago when I was in Midvale and only because I overheard a conversation."

"What are you going to do?" Lena asked.

"Alex wants me to do nothing. She thinks if I try to find him it will help Lillian find him and will put him in danger."

"She has a point." Lena said.

"Maybe. But part of me wonders if she thinks I'm not ready."

"Perhaps both are true." Lena said. "I mean the girl of steel is not back yet."

"So my selfishness is costing Alex her father?"

"That's not what I said." Lena quickly responded. "I think Alex was telling the truth when she said finding Jeremiah might endanger him. But, she also wants to protect you. She doesn't want to force you back for the wrong reasons."

"What better reason is there than family?" Kara asked.

"You are asking the wrong person." Lena responded. "But if you want the answer to that you have to talk to her. Stop trying to protect her and open up. What's the point of protecting Alex if you lose your sister?" Lena asked. "If you want to protect her, which clearly you do, you need to do it in the right way. Do you know what I think your problem is? And not just you, but the entire Danvers family."

"What?"

"You are all so focused on protecting each other you cut everyone off. And I know you grew up having to hide who you were, but not from Alex and Eliza. Yet you can't even share what you feel because you are trying to protect them. And they hid things from you to protect you. But all it does is make you feel miserable. Trust in them and share."

-00-

"Alex." Raffa said sensing her presence before seeing her.

"Hi, would you like me to go?" Alex offered.

"No, I am almost in control now." Raffa said. "Although I can tell you are still angry and frustrated." Raffa said.

"I am." Alex agreed. "But I am trying to control it."

"I am sorry, for what I did to you." Raffa said.

"I should be the one apologising, you saved my life." Alex pointed out. "And while I lost my memories for a couple of weeks you lost your home and your family."

"I knew the price. It was my choice."

"I am in your debt. Whatever you need just ask." Alex said before adding. "J'onn mentioned he offered you the chance to stay and work here."

"He did. But I feel it was not his choice to make."

"It was his choice. But if it makes you feel better I'm in charge from tomorrow and I am making the same offer."

"Humans are uncomfortable with my kind. Not just for our appearance, but they feel insecure knowing we can read emotions. They feel angry at our presence."

"You can blame Troi for that." Alex said confusing Raffa. Instead of explaining the reference though she went on. "I'm not going to lie, it's weird knowing that you can sense so much about me, but that skill is invaluable. We deal with the unknown here. Not just hostile aliens, but scared aliens, refugees….some have been through so much it is hard to relate to them. You could help with that."

"Would your people accept me?"

"If they don't they'll be my sparring partner for the next week." Alex shrugged.


	25. Chapter 25

"Kara. You are looking better than last time I saw you. Then again it would be hard to look much worse." Cat pointed out when she saw Kara on her door step. "Come in."

Nodding Kara entered Cat's D.C apartment and said. "I wanted to thank you, for what you did."

"I didn't do anything apart from state the obvious and call your family. But I hope you learned a valuable lesson about support." When Kara looked at her blankly she rolled her eyes and said. "That you need it."

"I wasn't myself, I had Kryptonite in me, it made me weak."

"Your mother, foster mother, filled me in." Cat said. "But Kara you are better than that. You have such an inner strength. But that's not what gives you your real strength. Your real strength comes from those around you. You inspire hope and strength in them, and in turn they support you. You threw all of that out of the window. Why?"

"The Kryptonite it mad-" Kara started only for Cat to raise a hand and silence her.

"Try again." Cat ordered.

"My mother always taught me to have hope." Kara eventually said. "But when I found her she admitted she had given up on finding me, on me being alive. If the woman who taught me to have hope, lost hope, how am I meant to keep hope?"

"Your mother may have helped shape you, but what you are now is beyond what happened on Krypton. What you are, who you are, is based on what is inside your heart as well as everyone who has influenced your life, Kryptonian or human. The fact your mother lost hope doesn't mean you should give up, it is proof that you are stronger than her. Something that will no doubt make her proud." Cat said carefully watching Kara as she digested the words. Eventually Kara looked up and said.

"I'm coming back...as Supergirl that is."

Why?" Cat asked.

"What do you mean why?" Kara asked confused.

"It's a simple question, why are you confused by it?"

"I thought you'd be pleased Supergirl was coming back."

"If it's for the right reasons. I mean I may practically own Supergirl, but you were my loyal, albeit somewhat bumbling, assistant first. And you helped me more often as Kara Danvers than you did as Supergirl. So as much as I would like Supergirl to return, it wouldn't feel right if it was at the detriment of Kara Danvers. So why is Supergirl returning?"

"For the same reason I revealed myself the first time, to protect Alex."

"Does Alex know that?"

"No."

"And I assume you aren't going to tell her."

"No." Kara agreed. "She doesn't need to know. What matters is I'm ready to come back. I have my powers thanks to Alex and I'm going to use them to keep her safe."

"Kara, physically you may be ready to come back, but are you really ready mentally?"

"I have to be. How I was before, that wasn't me. I had Kryptonite in me, it changed the way I thought and acted. I was so tired all the time. Now I'm better."

"You can blame some of it on Kryptonite, but there was more too it than that." Cat pointed out.

"I know." Kara conceded.

"Well that's a start. Just think about it a little a longer. Don't rush your decision and make sure it is for the right reason. But if Supergirl does come back." She then stopped herself and corrected. "Regardless of whether Supergirl comes back, you can call on me anytime."

"Really?" Kara asked.

"The President would like Supergirl to be patrolling the skies. If mentoring you helped that to happen I am sure she would add it to by job description. Of course if you told anyone, I would deny it."

"Thank you." Kara said hugging her.

-00-

"Are you trying to avoid me?" Alex asked when Kara came home.

"No. Why?"

"You have been gone for hours. And before you say you were working I have already spoken to Lena and James."

"You're spying on me?"

"I was checking up on you. I'm worried about you."

"I'm okay. I went to see Cat."

"As in Grant? Isn't she back in D.C.?" Alex asked confused.

"She is."

"How did you get there and back so fast?"

"I flew."

"You flew? What if someone saw you?" Alex asked.

"They didn't. But even if they did it maybe it wouldn't matter. Maybe it's time for Supergirl to come back."

"I'm not sure that's a good idea. I'm not sure you're ready." Alex asked.

"I have my powers back." Kara pointed out.

"That's not what I meant." Alex said.

"You were the one who asked why Supergirl wasn't back." Kara reminded her.

"I know." Alex said. "But since then I've accepted that you aren't as okay as I had hoped."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not. Right now you are just pretending it didn't happen." Alex said.

"I'm not."

"Really? Because you still haven't really talked about what happened."

"Neither have you."

"Yes I have." Alex argued. "I told you about my memories."

"Before that."

"Well, I was practically in a coma so there's not that much to say." Alex pointed out before taking Kara's hand and asking. "What really happened with you? What's still happening with you?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is you're back and we can move on."

"No we can't." Alex said. "Not until you've faced what happened."

"What do you want me to say?" Kara asked. "You died. I'm Supergirl, but you died trying to save me. I was weak. I failed. I lost myself in the darkness. I did everything I tell others not to do. I felt sick the whole time and I couldn't focus on anything apart form my own misery. Life didn't make sense. I didn't see the point. Some days I did't have the energy to move off the couch. I thought it was because there was a huge hole in me. I never considered it was Kryptonite. I missed you so much." Kara replied as tears rolled down her cheek. In response Alex hugged her.

"It's okay."

"No it's not. We all thought you died." Kara sobbed. "You saved me. You shouldn't have. You are more important."

"Kara. The world needs heroes like Supergirl. But more importantly I need my sister. If I had to make the call again I would. I would always choose save you. I don't care the cost. I'm not strong like you are. I'm not selfless like you are. I couldn't make the decisions you have. I will always pick you. When you flew Fort Rozz into space, when Reign used you as a punching bag I...I" Alex said before regrouping. "The important thing is you can try to protect me all you want, but I will do whatever it takes to keep you safe."

"What about you? You're a hero too and you're my sister. I need my sister." Kara said into Alex's shoulder.

"And I'm right here." Alex said. "And we are going to get through this together." Alex said before pulling away and looking and Kara. "You know more than anyone that anything can happen, you can lose everyone in the blink of an eye. But when it kicks you, you can't let the universe win. Kryptonite or not, you are stronger than that. Knowing you can come through anything makes me stronger. So I need you to be honest and let me help you, because when you're strong, we're strong."


	26. Chapter 26

"Alex, Kara" J'onn greeted as he tidied the last remnants off his desk.

"Hi J'onn." Alex smiled. "All packed?"

"Just about." J'onn said. "But you know I can stay?"

"I know, but you need time away. We have this." Alex said.

"You sure?" J'onn asked looking at Kara.

"We'll be fine." Kara said.

"So what are you going to do now?" J'onn asked.

"We're going to do what we have always done, keep this planet safe. And we'll start by finding Cadmus and stopping them." Alex said. "But we are not going to rely on brute force and we are not going to depend on any one person. We'll do it as a team." She added looking at Kara who nodded.

"Be careful. Both of you." J'onn said.

"We will." Kara said.

"And remember I am a phone call away."

"On that note, will you do us a favour?" Alex asked.

"Anything." J'onn agreed.

"Before you disappear on your walkabout, can you, casually, drop in on mom and check on her?"

"Is there a problem?" J'onn asked frowning.

"She's not as fine as she claims, but won't open up to us." Alex said.

"She may want a grown up to talk to." Kara said.

"Of course." J'onn said before pulling both sisters into his arms. "Take care."

"You too." Alex and Kara said hugging him tightly.

"Well then." He said finally releasing them. "I will leave you to run the DEO in peace Director."

"Thanks." Alex replied.

"One more thing, Maggie is finishing up here, if you want to talk to her now would be a good time." J'onn said before walking out of the door.

-00-

"Hey." Alex greeted as she approached the detective.

"Alex, hi." Maggie replied. "How's Kara?"

"On the mend, physically at least."

"And you.?"

"Almost as good as new." Alex said. "J'onn said you were leaving and I wanted to say thank you."

"No problem. Sorry we have't found your father though."

"Maybe it's for the best. Out there he's free." Alex replied before asking. "So how have you been?"

"Good." Maggie said. "Seeing no one thought I died, better than you."

"Well, there is nothing like dying to put life into perspective."

"And what perspective did it give you?" Maggie asked.

"That I need to stop putting my life on hold. No more excuses. I'm going after what I want."

"Good for you." Maggie smiled. "Not that it's a competition, but I came to a similar realisation without nearly dying."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm leaving National City."

"You are?" Alex asked surprised. "Where are you going?"

"Gotham."

"Plenty of crazy down there. Although don't people normally move away from Gotham not to it?" Alex asked.

"I'm not going for the scenery."

"You've met someone?" Alex guessed.

"Yeah. It was a chance encounter when I was down there for a case. We kind a clicked. And maybe I'm crazy moving down there, but like you said no more putting my life on hold." Maggie said.

"Does she make you happy?" Alex asked.

"She does." Maggie said. "Alex, loving you was never the issue. I'll always love you. But I don't want kids, with anyone. When I heard you had died I did a lot of thinking and questioned a lot of my decisions in life. And I regret that we ended, but I don't regret why. I have no doubt that you will make a fantastic mother. But not with me. Kids aren't in my future, but maybe Kate is."

"I know." Alex said sadly. "Good luck and take care in Gotham."

"I will." Maggie said before leaving.

"You okay?" Kara asked as she approached Alex a few minutes later.

"You heard?"

"Not deliberately." Kara replied as she wrapped an arm round Alex's shoulder. "So how are you doing?"

"Okay. I guess." Alex said.

"Come on." Kara said pulling Alex to her feet.

"Where are we going?"

"My place. I have a surprise."

-00-

"Alex!" Ruby called before hugging her.

"Hey." Alex said surprised by her presence. Looking up she saw Sam, Lena and James and asked. "What are you all doing here? How did you get here so quickly?"

"I asked them to come." Kara explained. "We haven't had games night in awhile. I organised it this morning."

"So nothing to do with Maggie?" Alex asked.

"No."

"Didn't you guys break up months ago?" Ruby asked with the tact of a teenager.

"Ruby." Sam chastised.

"It's okay." Alex said to Sam before looking at Ruby. "Yes we did. But life is complicated. Especially when everyone thinks you are dead." Her words causing Kara to have a flashback. Feeling the need for air she suddenly announced.

"I'm going to buy some more ice cream."

"Want me to come with you?" Alex asked concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Besides you are meant to be resting." Kara reminded her before leaving.

"At least her appetite is back." Lena commented.

"Seeing we aren't starting for a while, can I watch TV?" Ruby asked.

"Sure." Alex said. Once Ruby had gone to the lounge James asked.

"How is Kara really doing?"

"Better than she was, but she needs time."

"And you?" Sam asked.

"I'm fine. Well almost fine."

"So the encounter with Maggie was okay?" Lena asked.

"A little weird and a lot inevitable, but all completely amicable." Alex replied.

"So no?" Lena said.

"I'm with Lena." Sam said. "That does not sound okay."

Alex was saved from answering by Ruby excitedly shouting.

"She's back!"

"Who is?" Sam asked confused, not seeing Kara.

"Supergirl. She's back." Ruby said causing all the adults to approach the TV, which showed Supergirl rescuing a car from a fall.

"She is?" Alex asked equally confused. Seeing the pictures she took out her phone and was about to text J'onn to find out of it was him when the front door opened.

"She's back!" Ruby said excitedly.

"It's only ice cream." Kara pointed out.

"Not you. Supergirl." Ruby said pointing to the screen.

Aware that everyone apart from Sam and Ruby were watching her Kara said. "Wow, look at that. Looks like CatCo will be busy for a while. Anyway, how about we team up and start games night?"

"Smooth." Alex whisphered not taking her eyes off Kara.

"I'm with Alex." Kara said ignoring Alex.

"See I'm not sure that's a good idea." James said.

"Why not?" Alex asked.

"Because when you two team up you are like an unstoppable force."

"Don't be such a sore loser." Alex said.

"You do know we haven't lost yet?" Lena asked.

"You will." Ruby said. "No one beats mom and I."

"In your dreams kiddo. Kara and I are the best team out there and we will destroy you." Alex said.

"Wanna bet?" Ruby asked.

"Absolutely not." Sam interjected.

"Can we vote on it?" Ruby asked.

"This isn't a democracy." Sam countered.

-00-

"Told you." James said as Kara and Alex won another game.

"You need a better partner." Ruby said to Lena.

"You two didn't do that much better than us." Lena pointed out.

"We didn't finish last." Ruby countered.

"I am so sorry." Sam said. "I don't know where she got this competitive streak."

The comment causing Kara and James to say, in almost unison.

"Alex."

"What? I'm not that competitive." Alex countered.

"You so are." Kara said.

"Well this has been fun and disturbing." Sam said. "But it's late and I'm going to take Ruby home."

"Do we have to go?" Ruby asked.

"Yes." Sam said firmly.

"Fine." Ruby sighed before hugging Alex.

"Night Ruby." Alex smiled.

"Night." Ruby replied before moving to the door.

"Good night." Sam said hugging Alex. As she pulled away she said. "See you tomorrow night."

"What's happening tomorrow?" Alex asked confused.

"You're buying me a drink to make up for Ruby's competitive streak." Sam replied before leaving.

-00-

"Something you want to tell us?" Alex asked Kara once Sam and Ruby had gone.

"Like what?"

"I don't know...maybe Supergirl coming back." Alex suggested.

"It wasn't planned." Kara sad. "I was out there and there were people in trouble. Besides someone has to protect the city. Especially now you have a desk job."

"I don't have a desk job. I'm the director so I can choose my role and as of next week I'll be medically cleared for active duty."

"But not DEO cleared. The Director is now banned from front line duties." Kara said.

"I never signed off that rule." Alex replied.

"I know. But Pam did and if you want, I can use my connections to get the President to order it."

"I think this may be a good time to go." James commented to Lena.

"Good plan." Alex said watching them leave before turning back to Kara. "I'm not spending my life behind a desk."

"It would make Eliza happy." Kara countered.

"And me miserable." Alex said before asking. "You do remember that you work for me not the other way round?"

"Does that mean you are going to pay me?"

"I do, in pot stickers." Alex said. When Kara didn't immediately respond Alex asked.

"So how was it? Being back?"

"It was good." Kara smiled.

"It must have been good, you have actually been smiling all evening." Alex pointed out.

"I'd forgotten how good it felt."

"Good, well in that case you can deal with mom. She has sent at least twenty text messages." Alex replied before asking. "Are you sure this is what you want?"

"I am." Kara said. "I know I haven't always got the balance right, but I am Supergirl. Shutting off that part of my life wasn't right." She then looked at Alex and asked. "Are you okay with this?"

"It's your life and your decision." Alex pointed out. "I just want you to be happy." She added as they heard sirens in the distance. "Go. But bring back beer."

"Love you." Kara said hugging her before flying from the window.


End file.
